Have you ever been sitting with some friends on a girl’s night out, and had one of them say, “There are no good men here!”
Have you ever been the one to say that?
Do you wonder why you or your friend doesn’t have a good man yet?
Imagine if you were in a pub or club minding your own business and having a good time, and somewhere in your vicinity, you hear a guy saying, “All the girls here are FUGLY!” Would you run up to him, pose, and try to prove him wrong?
Of course not. You’d find his attitude repellant and avoid him. This is why the good men are avoiding you. Your bad attitude or indulgence of a bad attitude in your friends makes him think you are a stuck up bitch. Actually, it lets him know that you are because if you think that way, he is right to stay far away from you.
Negativity attracts nothing but negativity. If you don’t learn to keep a lid on such irrational outbursts, you are cutting yourself off at the knees. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are or how special. Nothing kills a good man’s boner like a raging harpy.
So now that we’ve got your attitude straightened out, here’s some advice on how to handle bitter or momentarily angry friends and peers.
Responding to Bitterbitching
When your friend says, “There are no good men here!” you can say,
“If there were any, they’re running away now.”
“Crap. We were having such a good time. Stop being a downer!”
“You catch more flies with honey…”
“There are. You’re just driving them away with your bitterbitching.”
Nip bitterbitching in the bud before it blossoms into a full blown gripe fest. Guys avoid groups of women in a gripe fest like the PLAGUE.
The basis of most of the advice revolves around a sort of personality clock, that illustrates the spectrum of types. At 12 o’clock are dominant/masculine/fire types. At 3 o’clock, the intellectual/air types. At 6 o’clock, we have the passive/feminine/water types, and at 9 o’clock, the social/earth types. To successfully seduce and/or keep a man interested, he says one must know which type he is at his core, and at least appear to be its natural compliment, which is its opposite.
After he explains the basics, he goes into how to make it work. Before you think you’re off the hook and all you have to do is “be yourself”, he makes it very clear that appearance is everything. Well, not everything, but the most important thing, because men are visual first. So even though it’s true that if you want to find your natural match, it’s good to be yourself, if there is a conflict between how you look and who you are, you have a serious problem.
The good news is that with some adjustments, you can bring your appearance in line with who you are, or in line with the desires of who you want.
Despite its somewhat scary title, I believe that it’s a good book for any woman who wants to understand the art of seduction. It needs to be read very carefully though. Many women who read it miss the most important thing the man says, and that is that there are many types, not just one. You should pick one and look, sound, smell, feel, and cook like it.
The vampire type is just one example that he describes. This is merely a template for the things a woman should take into consideration in crafting her look. Others should opt for different makeup, body language, voices and styles of dress that take advantage of classic aesthetics and the Law of the Forbidden.
For instance, if your target is an intellectual dominant, and you’re an earthy feminine or trying to look like one, your actions should speak louder than your look. You should consider an earthy red lipstick instead of bright red, and look more like a belly dancer than a Geisha. The ”debutante” look is more attractive to the earthy dominant type, who needs a woman to compliment his social life. You’d need to look intellectual-feminine. So your palette should be pastels and pinks. The starkly feminine Geisha look is best when you are in pursuit of a pure, molded from magma dominant. Note that Geishas are made up when they’re young, but earn the privilege to go without the heavy makeup when they are older.
Another thing to take into consideration when reading The Satanic Witch is that it was published back in 1971. A lot has changed since then, most importantly that there are now two sub-generations since the “sexual revolution”. In western cultures, due to a shortage of strong male role models, there is a conflict between many men’s desired selves and core or “demonic” selves. Because of this, many may be unaware of their own motives or why they desire what they desire. They may be hiding even from themselves.
In an age of feminized men, or rather men who are programmed to be feminine and have feminine priorities in partner shopping, there is a danger of mistakenly conforming to the man’s supposed self rather than his actual self. Worse, even if you match his actual desires, he may reject you because you don’t meet the standard that most men are socially and culturally herded towards.
The favored appearance of the current age is about 10 o’clock on the Synthesizer Clock: an earthy dominant. She is the busty but super-slim (read minimally feminine), socially dominant woman who “everybody” wants to shag. Yet the personality type men claim to favor is the earthy or intellectual feminine. This is what I refer to as the “unicorn” since the body and personality seldom exist together in anyone over the age of 19-23.
Understanding this, men can get a great deal of understanding of women from The Satanic Witch as well. Since most of the writing on Game is geared towards seducing women of the 9-12 o’clock physical (and matching personality) type, men learn to behave like 3-6 o’clock males in order to outwit and seduce them by using their better understanding of feminine wiles to render them helpless to resist. 9-3 o’clocks are more apt to have sex for the sake of it, so the more fluid and intense male has a distinct advantage over the blunt earthy or esoteric intellectual dominant male in seducing earthy dominant women.
We don’t do pitiful girly songs here. If you really want to get motivated, and get over the guy, you need power songs with a good dose of reality. You may notice that most of these songs are performed by men. That’s because when you’re having man problems, sometimes the best person to guide you out of them is a man who can articulate the emotions of attachment, recovery, and butching up clearly. Some women can do that well, but men tend to do well at it more often.
One Republic, Too Late to Apologize
This is Apocalyptica featuring Nina Hagen, singing a cover or Rammstein’s Seemann that sums up what your friends were probably trying to tell you when you were stuck on Mr. Wrong.
Speaking of Rammstein…Wollt ihr das bett in Flammen Sehen?
Evanescence Lacrymosa, for when you’re blamed for his supposed heartache about not being able to use you with impunity.
Fred Durst spells some stuff out nicely in Outside.
Godsmack, I Stand Alone always makes me feel better.
…and for when it’s time to start again with someone new, Omarion’s Ice Box. This song held up a mirror to my face when I almost started slipping with a new guy.
Part of the reality of a preference for manly men is that at times it seems like volunteering for pain. Unless they’re very socially independent, they are vulnerable to the new male hypergamy or “trading up”. Sometimes they’re extremely socially independent to the point of narcissism and/or sociopathy, and you don’t find out until you’re already emotionally invested.
If you played your cards right, you didn’t sleep with him without a commitment. If you did, or if you got into a commitment with him, then that doesn’t mean you’re doomed. You’re just going to have to work harder at disengaging than someone who didn’t get that far. Or maybe you’re a bit obsessed with a guy with whom you have no chance.
Everybody else’s advice revolves around getting smart and breaking off contact, but life isn’t quite so simple. Sometimes you have to see the guy and talk to him because of work, or because he keeps initiating contact and has trouble taking no for an answer. Getting away from him or not talking to him isn’t always an option. So my advice is going to be more realistic.
The psychological and the biological aspects of attraction are connected. When you’re around this guy, you have literal chemistry with him. What you have to understand is that you could have this same chemistry with any number of assertive men. So what you need when you’re trying to get over Alpha is the company of men you admire. Hang out with your male friends often.
It’ll remind you what a real man looks and behaves like, and it’ll also remind you what affection from them feels like and smells like. Granted, they’re platonic, but they’re still giving you positive male love. It’ll tide you over.
Second, you need to listen to your male friends. You probably should have listened to them when they first told you the guy was no good for you. Listen to them now, but really listen. They’ll spell out exactly why, and what warning signs they saw that you probably ignored.
Once you’re in a nice nest of man love, handle the actual chemistry. If marijuana is legal in your area, about six months of smoking pot on the weekends, instead of alcohol, helps tremendously. The best places to smoke for getting over breakups are by bodies of water, especially the sea. No man is as big, strong, beautiful, or timeless as the sea.
If marijuana is illegal where you are, then two herbs will do the job. They arehoodia gordoniiand passiflora incarnata. Hoodia is used as an appetite suppressant because it convinces the brain that you’ve had enough sugar. It also however, brings about a sense of contentment, depending on how much you take. So taking about half a gram of hoodia every evening with dinner will not only help you to lose a few pounds, but it’ll help you to stay calm and positive as well.
Passiflora incarnata hammers directly at the obsession chemistry, the PEA and oxytocin. It calms you down, and makes you feel happier. Just be aware that either hoodia or passiflora alone can interact with any other mood altering drugs you’re taking. So lay off the sleeping pills, and if you’re already taking antidepressants, talk to your doctor.
Exercise also helps you to feel better. When you’re stressed, you need to move to work it out. It is very important to get out and walk. Being out in the sunlight also assures that you’re getting enough vitamin D. While you’re at it, take a multivitamin if you’re not already.
Hopefully these tips will help in giving you a break-neck recovery speed. Moving on with your life is important. Just try not to make the same mistake again. If you do though, follow the same routine. Hang with your bros, take some legal herb, and get plenty of exercise, and you’ll be alright.
The Metaphysical Side
When discussing this article with a friend, he asked me why I said nothing about the metaphysical aspects of getting over someone. The idea of love seems magical or mystical to most people, so something ought to be said about that.
Just so that you understand my perspective, I am not a religious person. Technically, I’m agnostic, but I do understand the significance of historically “spiritual” symbols and other psychological tools. I accept that there are many things in the universe that science cannot yet adequately explain. Love is one of them. The “selfish gene” is a good reason why people fall in love and bond with each other. Without the ability to bond, and selection of partners capable of carrying that ability into the next generation, there would be no mammals and very few reptiles, and no birds at all.
As much study as there has been about how humans fall in love, very little scientific attention has been given to how to get people to fall out of love. So for that, you might need a little “Voodoo”. Well, some old fashioned grandma superstition anyway.
Destroy all evidence that you were together, or that you cared about him. Get rid of everything he ever gave you, and thoroughly clean anything in your residence that he ever touched, even the doorknobs and the places he stepped. Just about every botanica or new age shop has “floor sweep” and other cleansers for clearing away negative energy.
Do not speak his name unless you’re required to for business or legal purposes. Speaking his name supposedly summons him, and you want to avoid doing that.
If you’re into crystals, then ruby is the best stone for romantic recovery. It’s said to “purify love” so that any phoniness is revealed sooner rather than later. It also helps you to emotionally heal more quickly. I even have a kind of tradition that whenever I have a bad breakup, I buy myself a new ruby. Keep one on your person at all times, and in your left hand while you sleep. You’ll probably want to buy a low grade rough one to sleep with, as you’ll be upset if you lose a more expensive one in the sheets.
Obsidian is also good for curing one’s self of illusions associated with love. It helps one to make peace with reality as it is, not how you wish it was. Decorate sunny places in your house with obsidian carvings like pyramids, towers, or spheres.
Good stones to wear to attract new men are rose quartz and pink opal.
Use myrrh and rose incense to purify the scent of your residence. Your body chemistry changes when you’re in love, so even if he’s never been where you live, you want to remove your own in-love smell from your home.
Use a soap scented with real lavendar and rosemary, or make yourself a lavendar-rosemary splash by steeping these herbs in water until they cool.
Use a perfume that is heavy on agarwood, also called “aoud” or “oud”. Many Arab perfume oils use this as an ingredient. It helps you to feel more spiritual and less attached to earhtly problems and pettiness. Myrrh, rose, lavendar, rosemary, and jasmine are also good scents for this and for cleansing the mind.
This is a good time to get in touch with your guardians, patron saint, or met tet. Give them offerings, and carry their symbols on your person. If the guy actually wronged you, then wearing a symbol of Ellegua will send the right message into the universe. The simplest is a necklace made of alternating red or white and black beads or of cowrie shells. Even better if the beads are agate and coral.
Belly dancing is a good way to shake off stress and to reaffirm your femininity without the aid of a male partner. Somehow, it tends to make one less needy. Some say it’s because the style comes from ritual dances done for fertility goddesses, but it’s so old that it was likely born when Goddess was synonymous with God. Before any of it got institutionalized, the Creator was thought of as female in nature, because back then they didn’t know that men had anything to do with pregnancy.
Regardless of the theology behind it, it is good for the core muscles, and therefore improves the support system for the reproductive organs. So it very likely smooths out the hormonal ups and downs, which makes you feel better.
Basically, the idea is to clear away the past and move forward with optimism and peace.
For the sake of realism I’ve decided to inform womankind that the “magic pill” already exists. Not only does it exist, but there are different kinds to suit different preferences and physical goals.
Before we get started, let me make crystal clear that I do not advocate the use of controlled substances without a prescription, or the use of even legal, herbal remedies without medical supervision. Your doctor should be aware of whatever you’re taking.
Clenbuterol
For those who want to both lose weight and gain muscle mass, Clenbuterol is a solution that has been used by bodybuilders and fitness models since at least the 1990′s. It is not available for use by humans in the U.S. and elsewhere, its labelled use is for asthma and like respiratory problems. Weight loss/muscle gain is considered an “off label” use. Everywhere, it is considered a performance enhancing drug that will bar you from participation in most official sporting events. So it is a vanity drug that should only be utilized by non competing amateurs.
It begins to gradually lose its effectiveness after a month, so it should be cycled or only used temporarily. It is a good short term solution for those who need to diet down for summer or a special event, but not good for long term maintenance.
There has already been a lot of buzz about ADHD drugs such as Ritalin and Adderall for weight loss. While celebrities and weight loss gurus are telling others to eat right and exercise, the dirty secret is that many of them are taking ADHD drugs, supposedly for their adult ADHD or depression. So put down the maple syrup and cayenne pepper. The whole, “I lost weight from detox,” is a half truth. The way they were able to live on a celery stick and a rice cake every day for weeks is because of stimulants.
If you’re going that route, it is very important to only do it by prescription. You should also go for Concerta instead of Ritalin or Adderall, because it is time released. You are less likely to feel any need to abuse them. You can take a lower dose and still get through the day, and you are less likely to have the side effects of taking higher doses of stimulants.
Since nicotine and caffeine are now available in gum form, many are chewing a combination of them for appetite suppression. This works very well for many, because it can be used as needed, and the only side effects are of nicotine and caffeine, which most people are comfortable with. The problem is that gum itself is habit forming, as are nicotine and caffeine. So you’ll have to be okay with chewing a lot, and the wear and tear this has on your jaw.
Hoodia was a much hyped natural appetite suppressant, but through all the hype, nobody seems to have asked how to take it properly, or what to expect from it. People were told to take the pills, sometimes multiple pills, half an hour to an hour before meals, and this was totally wrong. In addition, they were told that they wouldn’t get hungry. This is also wrong. Part of the reason for the misinformation is that many if not most hoodia supplements, didn’t actually contain much hoodia. The amounts were negligible, so people were basically taking a fiber or stimulant pill, and as shady as some manufacturers are, they mostly didn’t have much of any of the active ingredients. The other reason for the misinformation is either to sell more pills, or lack of knowledge of how hunters in Africa actually use hoodia and like herbs.
So first of all, you need to get hold of some real hoodia gordonii capsules or extract from a reputable manufacturer, like Swanson. Then, you have to take it properly. The proper way to take hoodia is with a big meal. You take it during or immediately after a big meal, and it preserves the feeling of satisfaction for a day or so. So it is perfect for people on Eat Stop Eat a.k.a. intermittent fasting schedules. It is not good for people into deprivation diets who don’t ever eat a truly well balanced and satisfying meal.
On hoodia, you will feel mild hunger, but it won’t mean as much to you. It feels like being hungry, but as soon as you think about actually eating some food, it’s over, and you’d rather have water or tea. If you have some tea with a little honey, you are full again. If you’re looking for something to completely shut down your appetite, opt for the stimulants, but if you just want to curb the urge to snack or break your fast, then hoodia is quite enough.
Hopefully, this article helps you to get to your weight loss goals. Just be mindful that when your appetite is low, every calorie counts. Eat quality, natural food, and avoid the processed junk.
