Dirty Male Shit Test: I’m Open Minded, But How Many?

A post on identifying sluts by an Alpha wannabe (who has Cartmanesque hysterical fits whenever a female commenter doesn’t recognize his authoritaah) sparked some interesting comments. Some of them suggested as a way to flush out (shit test) sluts, that a man pretend to be open minded and non judgemental before springing the question of how many men she’s had sex with on her.

I thought of replying: You guys do realize, don’t you, that it is much easier for a whore to keep her legs closed than it is for a woman who sincerely likes you. By condemning “sluts”, and defining so many women with good intentions as such, you’re basically shooting yourselves in the foot.

If you ask a woman with an IQ over 80 or so, how many men she has slept with, and she hasn’t seen any actual evidence of your open mindedness other than your saying so, she will assume that you are looking for a reason to dump her. It is a well known male shit test. So perhaps the reason some become more forthcoming with information once asked is not because you successfully deceived her, but because at that point she understands she has nothing to lose.

Younger women who don’t know it’s a shit test will fall for it maybe once. Whores will lie anyway, if they consider you a sponsor for their retirement plan.

But, ladies, these kinds of attitudes are why it’s best to keep it in your pants. In order to have a free society, it takes men and women. Apparently the men haven’t caught up, at least in the case of the (beta) masses.

What is striking is that so many of these men claim to be speaking for the Alpha male, who doesn’t want to get saddles with a woman who’s a “bad investment”.  Yet among the actual Alphas I know, it is common for their partners to have had turbulent and what some would define as slutty pasts.  They don’t feel particularly insecure about a woman not being a virgin.

What the social status conscious may care about is image, but this is for the sake of finding a suitable trophy, if one is needed.  If they have their way though, the woman’s sexual appetite would match or surpass his own.

This is why the beta PUA is instructed to pretend to be non judgemental: because sexual freedom and lack of insecurity around it is an Alpha trait.

So the moment the guy loses the mask, and starts down the road of threatening to judge her for her numbers rather than her conduct in the face of the constant barrage of sexual attention that a higher beta or Alpha type female gets, the jig is up.  He’s shown himself to be a beta, so the non whore reaction is an end game slam: tell him how many have been there before him, and let him know that he’s not as special at he’d like to think he is.

No matter what, his reaction to her answer is going to be that of a beta, because the question is a beta question to ask.  The motivation to even ask such a question out loud is beta.  So he can choose to either take it on the chin or on the belly…to let it slide or to crawl away with his ego bruised from the self inflicted trauma of idealizing virginity or near virginity above ethical conduct.

There is nothing wrong with being beta.  Not every guy can be a Colin Powel or a Bertrand Russell.  A guy just needs to be real with himself and with the women he chooses to spend time with.  If he wants a virgin or near virgin for a wife, he needs to take his butt back to church, mosque, or synagogue, and find himself a fresh 18-20 year old.  He’s not going to find them elsewhere.

Seducing secular women means that he should not expect her to have been perfectly chaste outside of marriage.  To deceive her into thinking he’s okay with her, and then turning around and shaming her isn’t motivated by a simple cost/benefit analysis.  It comes from the idea that one is a predator, and that sex is a means of subjugating women.  Like the female whore, the male whore isn’t in this kind of scenario for the sex or the bonding.  He wants to humiliate someone…to feel superior as he disqualifies or dumps her according to a standard that he himself did not live up to.

Read the post, and Google for others like it.  Identifying sluts is a very popular topic, and it’s easy to tell the ones who are really talking about women who use sex as currency, and those who are trying to shame women for enjoying their sexuality.  Apparently, the mainstream opinion is that a woman who will have sex with a guy before they are cohabiting is a slut who deserves to be shunned once he is done using her…not just by him, but by every man after him.

So the next time a guy tells you he’s open minded, if you don’t know his history, beware.  If none of his prior ltr’s can vouch for him, and he’s not an active member or participant in any freak/alternative movements or communities, call bullshit.  He might just be looking for reasons to justify lying to you and later trying to humiliate you.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.


  1. bwahahahahaha @ Cartmanesque!!! hysterical, loony tunes, loss of control really not a good look for that guy SMH

    I think I’m gonna like this blog, cheers!

  2. Love your comment about Roissy. Some of the things he does is so…beta. I’ve commented on there and got called names instead of actually being talked to. oh well.

  3. I’ve gotten some of the same. It’s kind of sad in and of itself, but what’s interesting is that he considers it cruelty, and that people should and do feel pain when he curses at them as opposed to actually winning the argument.

    Why he behaves that way, only he knows, but I prefer to keep my speculations thereon fairly simple. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes a pathetic keyboard jockey is just a pathetic keyboard jockey. I’d be surprised if he can find the power switch to a computer by himself.

    I’ve been in many arguments over the years I’ve been on the net, and have dealt with just about all kinds of people. I even had some Turkish cyber terrorists target my websites for awhile. I’m not sure why they stopped, but that was an interesting period. It seemed like a game for them. Still, after having dealt with all that, some guy freaking out in his own blog is kind of like…okeeeeey…

    I still read his blog for the interesting commenters. Now their blogs are interesting. I don’t agree with everybody on everything, but thank goodness I don’t have to. Half Sigma rocks, and so does 2Blowhards. They make you think and well, me likey thinkey. BRAINS! -slurp- :-p

  4. Love your comment about Roissy. Some of the things he does is so…beta. I’ve commented on there and got called names instead of actually being talked to. oh well.

    Comment by redhead
    join the club

  5. I would like you all to not feel the need to be so angry in your lives and yes i am being patronising right now. Anyway i’m gunna search up some “real” material for you all n then maybe come back n post a link for you. Good luck girls!

  6. …and good luck to you in finding a more realistic site for women on relationships. Really.

  7. Jame D *afc* is just pissed cause he thinks you guys are making his job even harder (attracting a woman). Seriously I’ve read tons of books, but this blog contains the most interesting info. No more dating, I’m gonna wait for the ring. Thanks for keeping it painfully honest and real ladies <3

  8. I started reading the original Article out of curiosity for what goes on in woman, why they do the things they do and to underline better understand them. Obviously I wouldn’t read things like this if I wasn’t resonantly dumped. Though I can say, not for the above mentioned reason; I do agree that past lovers and relationships have nothing to do with the current relationship that your in, and the past should stay where it is. Asking such a question is more out immature than beta characteristics though. The more I read through the Article, the more I felt that this woman who wrote it, was angry and filled with hate.

    You think you can categorize us males so easily and because you had one or maybe two such experiences, you feel like a Beta male is really just the bottom of the barrel. I am sorry that after you were asked how many lovers you had, you were discriminated against it. However, after reading your article, it came across that you wanted to slap around your new found penis. Because of your past experience in this matter you feel you need to be reassured by claiming yourself as the Alpha Female, a hate filled female is not an Alpha Female, and it doesn’t come across as attractive.

    On this subject, one of my favorite lines of your Article is, “So he can choose to either take it on the chin or on the belly…” I realize that you wrote this out of the reaction you got after you answered his question with a truthful answer, and I imagine you really gave it to the guy. But honestly, take it, and get on with your life, and I’m not talking about him, but rather you. Is it a Alpha female characteristic to get hurt the way you got hurt, from what seemed like to be a one night stand anyway. You might have had a couple of dates before going to bed with him, but in the end it was still nothing more than “Wam Bam thank you Mam” in other words a one niter. The question of how many lovers you have had in the past is a bullshit question, I agree, but instead of ripping the poor guys head off, take it with some humility and say what we all think one night stands are, practice, and we know practice makes perfect. From there on you can still choose to stay with him or dump him, instead of loosing your cool.

    I try to educate my self in the matter of women because honestly there is nothing more confusing to a guy than a woman, but in return wouldn’t this entire mating game be easier for us guys if the woman tried to understand us a bit better to, and instead of continuously ripping our heads off and letting us wander around like headless fools. Women should try harder to please us males as well, it’s not all about us trying to get you happy. Falling in love is a wonderful thing, but from the sounds of it, you weren’t falling, you crashed on the pavement with it, and all that for “Practice”.

  9. Chris, I appreciate your sympathy, but it’s a little misdirected. I’m a counselor who has worked with many women, but in my own personal life, I’ve never been with a guy who was so conservative as to ask me such a question until after we were close enough that it was his business. I filtered out closed minded conservative guys early on, which has its own set of “freak” problems, and this isn’t one of them.

    I have however, seen different scenarios play themselves out in other people’s relationships, and to date, I don’t know of a guy who asks such a question who isn’t looking for a way out. It’s an exit button, and if a guy pushes it with an open hand as an obviously conservative guy then cool…but if he plays open minded but then turns around and tries to shame her for not being a virgin, he deserves to be called out quite explicitly as a punk and a fraud.

  10. I think we have very different opinions on what makes someone conservative and what makes another Liberal, or how you like to describe your male of choice “open minded”. I can see the misconception of how a female see’s the question on how many lovers she has had, and once she is done ripping his head off, he is inclined to dumping her. Not because she has had more lovers than him, but because she just finished ripping his head off. I for one don’t like to be emasculated and I don’t know of a guy who does.

    However I considered the alternative, especially after my last comment. Which for one, could proof your point for a guy being intimidated that she has had more lovers than him, and if she doesn’t rip his head off, he might dump her for the reason of the amount of lovers. Not that calling her names or making any woman sound like a slut or calling it to her face, is ever acceptable. Other than her accepting money for the act of sex which would make her a whore. I still don’t know many guys who would ever call a whore a whore unless he is trying to humiliate her and proof him self as the Alpha male. In comparison just as unacceptable as what I have read out of your original article categorizing this male as an inferior being.

    In the end of the 20th century we have experienced a sexual revolution, that is being easily carried into the 21st century, and I don’t feel that even a conservative of nature, stays a virgin till marriage.

    We all have to lose our horns, otherwise we will make terrible lovers in a marriage. Hence the “Practice”.

    I suggest if you consult woman who have been hurt in ways described above, you shouldn’t try telling them that it is okay to let out your anger on the rest of MAN kind, but rather, you should consult them to deal with the pain and not try to empower them into anger. Offering a supporting shoulder for them to rest and cry on instead of them going on a rampage. In any case, I again agree that there is nothing wrong with having had a lot of sexual partners, but that is a personal matter and it should seldom when ever come up in a conversation with your current partner, especially in the dating stage. The past should stay where it is and I guarantee that everyone has a thing or two, that they don’t want to put out for everyone to criticize.

    Where in return I can see where the pain comes from if a male decides to abuse the new found knowledge, and to use it as an excuse to get out of a relationship. There are more tactful ways of going about it, and I for one don’t know of a guy who has ever dumped his girl because she had more lovers than him.

    Females have the bad habit of getting to emotionally attached, to early in the mating game. That is why, she would answer a ridiculous question such as how many lovers she has had. That if any should be the topic.

  11. I don’t view getting emotionally attached, even fairly early, as a “bad habit”. It’s pretty normal and natural for women, and shouldn’t be discredited for the convenience of males in denial of their own natural roles.

    I didn’t say a woman should treat all men like default jerks…just that if a specific man in a specific situation is showing her his eject button, she should feel free to push it with gusto. She’s wasting her time there whether she’s a former sex worker or a virgin who’s never been kissed.

    If a man feels emasculated because a woman tears him a new one for being a fraud, then his dangly bits were lost long before she got to him.

  12. I do not appreciate getting my head ripped of by a raging hormonal female, who mistaken my intention during the first few dates to tell me her deepest worries, and as far as I am concerned “baggage”, when I’m not sure I even want to hear them much later in the relationship either. I will mention again that some things are just not meant to be shared, and make sure that it is not only you who is in love when sharing, because if the other person isn’t feeling the same for you, than I’m sorry to tell you, you just crashed and burned.

    The entire Fairytale “Love on First Sight” , is just as misconceived as every woman being a virgin till marriage. And yet women think that “Love on First Sight” can happen on a daily basis in the 21st century, but in the end, just put them self up to just another hart break.

    I do feel emasculated when my head is being ripped of, but I can assure you that my balls are still very much so in tact, that might be, because I don’t let females “rip me a new one” on a regular basis.

    The entire Fraud statement is a bit strong, I associate fraud to financial transactions gone wrong and usually in one way or another, business. Therefor, after being referred to as a fraud, I would go double check my taxes after I made it clear to the woman that we should go down different paths.

    I enjoy falling in love, and I have falling for a girl to early in the game too. I was the one who got hurt out of it. What a Beta characteristic, or wouldn’t you agree? We all learn out of our mistakes, and out of experience, males catch on faster to these mistakes and call it then “Practice”, where as to females, who set up an entire support system during their rampage stage, just to have the exact same thing happen to them again.

  13. “Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.” I regret to inform you that hormones are a big part of why people fall in love and bond anyway. In women, the hormone that triggers and/or facilitates both bonding and orgasm are one in the same: oxytocin. A woman’s psychology and sexuality don’t merely overlap. Her sexuality is a large chunk of her psychology. It’s one of those core issues.

    So you may delude yourself as much as you like that the way women fall in love is “crazy”, but this craziness suited us just fine and worked very well in a practical sense until men started shirking their responsibilities as men. Back in the day, only marauding raiders and elite males with the power to buy and sell who they pleased, felt they were entitled to casual sex. Now, for some strange reason, Joe Average believes he has no responsibility towards women he pursues sexually.

    You’re not supposed to like being called a fraud, but a fraud is what you are if you pretend that you are something that you are not. It’s not a misinterpretation of your intentions if your intentions are to get bonding sex from a woman while you’re just having casual sex with her. It is also fraudulent to pretend to be open minded when deep down you’re a moralist and/or religious nut.

    It’s deceit, plain and simple. If you don’t want to get called on it, be honest about who you are.

  14. You’ve sure spotted the sinister male domination agenda behind calling girls sluts. I, for one, wouldn’t care whether a girl has slept with 20 or 2000 men before me, but what I would like to know is:

    1 . Is she interested in a long-term relationship? I believe in being candid. If I’m interested in a long-term relationship and she’s not, I feel like I would get taken advantage of and that she would be more likely to cheat. I believe in being forthcoming: If she just wants a fuckbuddy, I’m totally down with that, but she has to be loyal if she wants anything long term. If she’s interested in a long-term relationship and I’m not, I don’t want to be deceptive and make it seem like I have feelings for her. So, I suppose I would be interested in how lightly she takes relationships. But from reading your blog I learned that being forthcoming like that is bad.

    2. Is she damaged goods? Does she have too much emotional baggage? I can handle some emotional baggage, but sleeping around too much can be a sign of emotional problems. Then again, it might not be a sign of anything in particular. I would evaluate each case individually.

    3. Is she responsible? Does she sleep with a guy before thinking and does she protect herself? I don’t want to receive that wonderful parting gift because I had some bad luck (a leaky condom).

    Whores make the world go round. The more the merrier. And I don’t understand why being called a whore should even be an insult. We certainly need more proud whores in the world. It just seems very defensive to me that you would always assume that a guy would only ask such a question as part of a “shit test.” Very… beta. My pet theory is that women can get more action than men and do. So I would probably ask that question out of curiosity, though I can’t remember that I have ever seriously asked that question.

    Anyway, feel free to ignore my input. I’m just a beta after all. But I have gotten laid. And I have been in long-term relationships. But feel free to doubt me, I don’t care.

  15. Oh, I see. The guy in the post was specifically addressing long term relationships. Makes sense to me.

    If you wanted to settle down with someone, you sure wouldn’t pick the guy who has slept with every girl on the block, would you? Come on. That is just common sense.

    Anyway, I feel satisfied now that I’ve done my part to further our chauvinistic male agenda.

  16. Beta says, “So I would probably ask that question out of curiosity, though I can’t remember that I have ever seriously asked that question.”

    Well, that ought to tell you something. You’re secure and trust your own tastes and observation skills. You wouldn’t be dating someone who didn’t pass your real deal screening. Why would you ask a question that, for you, is irrelevant?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.