Happy 2009! Handle Your Bitches

Hey ladies!  I’d like to wish you all a fun and happy new year
or “Sylvester”.  Of course, being the mother hen that I am, I’d like
to remind you to not drink and drive, to not ride as a passenger with someone
who is drunk, and to leave with the same friends you went out with.

As usual, I’m going out with the guys.  This is partly because
most of my friends are guys, and my female friends all have other plans
(read dates).  I kind of have a date too, my PSO (platonic significant
other, and yes that’s a complicated story).

About bitches, tonight is one of those nights you might want to be generous
towards the decent men in your past.  Yeah, I know you’re in shock
that I’m proposing any kind of backtracking or lightening up, but holidays
are special.  Relationships don’t always work the way we planned,
and this isn’t always someone’s fault.  On those nights when it might
be nice to have someone to wake up next to, an old bitch is better than
a new bastard.

So when an old boyfriend with whom you amicably parted, and who you
know wasn’t just using you calls because he’s thinking of how good he had
it, after spending way too much on drinks for girls who don’t put out,
have a heart.  It won’t add to your numbers, and he probably already
thinks you’re a slut, so it can’t really hurt.

Just go into it strictly for the fun, make sure you get yours before
he gets his, and don’t let him fall asleep afterwards.  He didn’t
come there to sleep.

Good guys and good girls like sex too, and there should be no shame
in that.  However, because for many men there is because of the popular
“men are all dogs” myth, you have to make sure that you stay clear of that
whole pathological dynamic.  If he’s not your boyfriend, it doesn’t
matter if you hoped he would be, or if he was in the past, don’t let him
sleep in your bed.  Sleeping over is a boyfriend privilege.

If a guy views you as a slut, then he should at least view you as a
slut with some discretion.  As my mom and dad told me in their, “If
you’re gonna do it anyway…” talks, don’t let the sun rise over the shoulders
of any man who isn’t yours.  This doesn’t mean kick them out and throw
their clothes after them.  No need to humiliate anyone, even if they’re
self pitying hypocrites.  Just get up from the bed, start finding
their stuff, and set it next to them so they get the hint, and make them
some coffee and a snack while they’re getting dressed.  You can even
have a chat during the coffee, but try to get him out of there before the
sun comes up, or shortly after.

This is how old fashioned independent women handled their bitches: friendly
but firm.

Now go out there and have a good time!

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

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