Scoring Part 3: The Alpha (type) Male

Scoring with an Alpha type male means being recognized as someone
he could become sentimentally attached to regardless of other sexual or
romantic partners
.  Sorry girls, but you will be unable to gain
monogamy from a social-Alpha male whether he is an Alpha type, or a higher
beta in an Alpha position.  You may be able to gain monogamy from
a more introverted Alpha type male or an Alpha positioned male if he chooses
this for reasons of his own personal health or sanity, but it’s not actually
you earning it.  It’s his choosing it for himself.  Be aware
that one of the reasons he may choose it is because the other woman or
women he is sentimentally attached to, will not have sex with him. 
You are not and will never be his “everything”.

Be advised that this article is somewhat biased.  I have been “off
the grid” for my entire sexual/romantic history.  The bulk of my sexual
and romantic experience has been with Alpha type males mainly because I
never fit or attempted to conform to a mainstream “beauty” standard. 
My father is also a charismatic Alpha type and social Alpha male in his
group.  This is how it has always been for as long as I’ve known him. 
He is the guy who walks softly but carries a big stick, makes everyone
around him feel better about themselves, and when he disapproves of something,
people work hard to correct it.  He could be a cult leader if he wanted,
but chose not to go down that road.

The men of my family show a similar pattern on both sides.  Of
my brothers, one is a somewhat reclusive Alpha type who is a musician. 
The other is an Alpha type who is an up and coming social Alpha, who will
likely be my father’s successor in the ministry.  Incidentally, the
latter chose my father as a father.  He was taken in by my parents
at the age of 17.

Needless to say, I am somewhat spoiled about men.  No matter what
has happened to me from others, I always had a core of deep, independent
thinking, hard core honorable type guys around me.  For certain, when
bad things happened to me was only when I was far from them or distanced
from them by the very few factors they could not control.  So at a
kind of Black bourgois level, I am a princess raised by princes. 
Therefore, when you read this article, be mindful that my preferences will
show, but be warned that there is a dark side to this.  I will try
to be as explicit about that dark side as possible, but I may be blinded
to some things.  Feel free to comment if I miss something important.

The Alpha Attractiveness Scale

Alpha type men do not give a crap about what is beautiful to the mainstream
sexually.  They only care about it as it has to do with relating to
the masses.  He has his preferences or fetish, and an ambition to
get what he wants sexually with as much or more intensity than in his career
or other missions.  Part of what fuels this is that aside of fetishes,
the Alpha male’s eye for beauty is more in line with nature than with culture.

Touching on the dark side, there are many historical examples of Alpha
type males dividing women between those they use to boost or validate their
social standing, and those who truly turn them on.  The ones who turn
them on may be classed by the rest of their society as substandard, ugly,
or inferior, but they don’t particularly care.  They will treat these
women (or men) with respect, and any children that result from the affair
will be as well cared for or more than their children with the socially
convenient wife.

A beta who views a socially inferior woman as easy prey may shag them,
but will not afford them much respect.  Sometimes, if a higher beta
is attempting to gain social props from Alphas, they will mimick their
behavior by taking on an “exotic” mistress or fancyboy, and may even enjoy
it.  However, as the post-placage boom in prostitution in Louisiana
proves, given the opportunity, the majority (who are betas and conformist
omegas) are just turned on by the idea of feeling superior to someone. 
This, by the way, is another good reason for women to avoid betas who are
of higher perceived social value.  In practice, they will seek to
humiliate you in ways that are above the bar of rough sex or consensual

So there are a few ways to get close to the Alpha male.  It depends
on what you can offer him, and what you are willing to go through to stay

Social Alpha Wife/Trophy

The beta trophy basically just has to be pretty and non threatening. 
The Alpha trophy well, this depends on whether he is Alpha as far as social
status or an Alpha type, who is an independent thinker who has chosen to
use society as a way to get his needs met.  If you’re after the former,
your role is basically the same as his lower status peers’ wives. 
You should focus your efforts on being and staying media pretty, and making
babies who grow up to be good citizens who don’t make scandals that will
embarrass the family.

If, on the other hand, you get hold of an Alpha type, though you may
not have to be so pretty, you will have to maintain a degree of social
appeal and charisma that compliments his.  You will have to appear
to be his equal but subordinate, and your beauty maintenance should focus
on areas that make you look more like an ideal matriarch of his social

Hillary Clinton is a good example of a good social Alpha/Alpha type
(we’ll start calling this combination AA) trophy companion.  She is
a decent politician in her own right, but when she was the first lady,
she appeared to subordinate to her husband.  She also was not the
prettiest or the slimmest woman, but she had blonde hair, well maintained
features, was relatively slim, and did not look overly intimidating.

As we know now, the woman who drove Bill Clinton to risk his presidency
and public shame was a chubby brunette, much lower than even an older trophy
looker on the media beauty scale.  Apparently his tastes though they
may have included them, were not restricted to slim blondes.  You
can see from the fallout of the scandal that beta males found Monical Lewinsky
not just non conventional, but repellant.  To a guy with a more natural
eye though, she was close to nature’s fertility and femininity ideal…rich,
dark hair, bright eyes, a strong but lilting high voice, curvy, sturdy,
and with nicely shaped lips.  Who could ask for more (except an overly
programmed robot of the MTV generation, of course)?

Alas, when a choice had to be made, Bill stayed with Hillary. 
It could have easily gone the other way.  He could have claimed to
be in love with Monica, and we all know the American people would have
forgiven him if it was a matter of true love.  If Hillary had claimed
they had been out of love and living more like friends for years, it could
have worked out nicely.  So why didn’t it go that way?

It is because Hillary is not just a trophy.  Despite Bill’s
not being monogamous, she is his companion.  So the lesson here girls
is that no matter what role you fill, if you’re not valuable to an Alpha
personally, you can be the trophy wife or the mistress with the desirable
figure, but you will not be around for long.  An Alpha’s pump-and-dump
is a woman who he doesn’t trust
, no matter how good you look to the
media or to his own eye.

So let’s take a mental stroll to the other end of the social ladder
on the Alpha scale: inner city thug/drug dealer.  Note the difference
between the women they stick to, and the women they screw and send away. 
The woman they allow to drive their car, make most of their babies, and
hold their money is almost never “hot”.  She may show off their wealth
to a degree, by being the one who gets to wear the bling they can’t for
fear of being too conspicuous.  She’s the girl in the neighborhood
with five kids who doesn’t have a job but somehow manages to wear Cartier
bracelets on both arms
, and whose hair and nails look like the beauty
magazine cover models’.  Sometimes nobody knows who her man is, but
she has one.  Also, consider that she may be the daughter of such
a man…the one of his children who is trustworthy enough to share in their
dad’s ill gotten gain.  She knows how to keep her mouth shut, and
if it came to it, she would have his back against the cops or rivals.

The price she pays is similar to Hillary.  She often carries a
heavy burden of secrets, and she has to save face and sometimes lives if
things go wrong.  She may even have to give her life, and carry secrets
with her to the grave if rivals come after her to get to her boyfriend
or relatives.

Women with this level of loyalty are rare, and very much valued by the
smart Alpha.  However, be advised that being able to think for one’s
self doesn’t necessarily make them more intelligent or have stronger impulse
control.  In fact, some of the psychological conditions that make
someone Alpha enough to stand alone or fight to the top of the food chain,
give a guy very poor impulse control.
  You may well end up having
to be your Alpha’s ethical or political/diplomatic nanny.

So let’s review what you have to be in order to be valued as more than
a sperm receptacle by the Alpha male in order of importance:

1.  Trustworthy – able to keep a secret to the grave, and
be trusted with any other tangible or intangible valuables.

2.  Loyal – this is part of being trustworthy but not quite
the same.  He may need you to be trustworthy above loyal if he is
prone to impulsiveness.  Blind loyalty would make you an unsuitable
companion because it would make you his subordinate in ways other than
the natural male/female dynamic.  If you’re less trustworthy than
you are loyal, your loyalty is too volatile, and he wouldn’t have you as
a right-hand man, much less a real companion.

Trustworthiness is also above loyalty because you have to be able to
do what is most beneficial even without his direct input.  You are
also looking out for him even when he isn’t looking out for himself or
for you.  You must keep his secrets even if he betrays you. 
Hillary didn’t start divulging details of all of Bill’s affairs  and
misdeeds just because he cheated on her.

If you are the primary partner, you must take care of all other partners
as well.  You are your man’s agent in some ways, his guardian in others. 
Aside of never harming him, you must never harm them unless they are harming
him or threaten to.  So you have to have not only individual loyalty
but pack loyalty as well.  Anyone who is considered family is under
the same umbrella
.  If you are a secondary partner, you must be
just as loyal to the primary partner as you are to him.

For purposes of organization, there may be a hierarchy among the women
that you’ll need to adhere to.  The wife or primary partner is the
highest ranking, even if it seems like he’s more fascinated with you at
the moment.  Defer to her and to any other predecessors in order of

3.  Honest – this is third on the priority list because
he is the one you are obligated to be honest with.  Everyone else,
you should be able to lie to, in order to protect him, if it is needed
or will profit him in some way.  Being honest with him is important
because you must be able to allow him to be honest with you.

4.  Tough – you must be mentally/emotionally tough, and
if it’s at all possible, being physically tough is handy as well. 
Alpha males are generally what some would class as abusive.  When
they’re not so outside of the bedroom, they are often so in the bedroom. 
Sex or sexual activity with you as opposed to the casual, will be an expression
of emotion, and Alphas tend to be extremely intense.  For some, even
protective gear is required.  Think of the sex scene in Vampire
in Brooklyn
or A
History of Violence
.  On the flipside, a big turn on for them
is the kind of woman who could just as easily dominate as be dominated. 
So no, you won’t get any points for being a good little victim as you would
with a beta.  Victim types can be pets at the most, but never companions. 
That said, some Alphas prefer pets, and lacking experience in life, may
prefer them over companions if they are too paranoid to let anyone at all
get close to them.

5.  Clean and Presentable in Your Niche – whatever category
of beauty you belong to, you will catch his eye if you wear it well. 
If you’re fat, you must be “zaftig” thick, or a “goddess” Valkyrie type. 
No weak, sniveling, non purging bingers.  If you’re thin, you should
be wirey and sturdy and elegant.  Think Morticia Adams.  The
idea is to present non conventionality balanced with class balanced with
survivalism balanced with discretion.

In short, to really hook an Alpha male, you must be an Alpha female
If you are not, you will crack at some point, and when you do, his respect
for you will be gone, and he may love you, but only as a pet.  A pet
can be very valued, but it is not the same as being a confidant and a real

Execution of the Seduction

Since #5 is what a guy sees first, this will be what draws him towards
you.  The rest happens naturally.

What…no tricks?

That’s right.  None.

What I do have is some anecdotes from Alpha people.  Some of these
relationships have succeeded in that they have lasted over a year with
no sign of breaking, and some have failed.  I’ll give them nicknames
so you’ll be familiar with them if I use them in other articles.

Frankie and Sunbeam (Alpha male/Alpha female or A2A)

Frankie says that Sunbeam fills any area she arrives in, with sunshine. 
She reaches out to people with a seemingly endless capacity for love, but
with intelligence and “instincts” that protect her from harm.  She
has no trouble getting her hands dirty, and will hug a smelly homeless
person as easily as a guy (like Frankie) who is so cute most women find
him somewhat intimidating.

Bob and Fatima (higher beta male/Alpha female or hb2A)

Bob met Fatima through a mutual friend who is very Alpha, and attracts
women like flies to poo.  That his friend remembered her name and
would shag her too if he met her conditions, was an important preselection. 
They have a few months long fling during which Bob fails to get close enough
to Fatima for her to treat him like a truly worthy partner.  Having
sex with Bob was a mistake, but an understandable one, because Fatima was
too young to truly know herself, and was very horny and vulnerable just
after going platonic with her previous partner, an Alpha male.  Eventually,
because of her frustration with Bob, and Bob’s confusion, it ends badly. 
Later though, Bob becomes her sex-only bitch for those “blue moons” when
she feels the need for sex, but doesn’t want to add to her numbers.

John and Tamara (Alpha male/beta female or A2b)

John meets Tamara through a mutual Alpha female friend who has hopes
for Tamara’s development.  Tamara is a social Alpha who attracts many
beta males, but none have really kept her attention, which gives the Af
friend the idea that maybe she needs an Alpha.  They are immediately
attracted to one another, though John is from a lower middle income family,
and is still in the process of making his way.  They have a nice time
together and a few dates, but because of leftover drama from a previous
relationship with a simpering wimp, Tamara’s loyalty factor slips and she
blows off John at crucial moments, and then assigns him to the friend zone
even though he has made it clear he will not sit there.  He knows
it is a shit test.

Later, when Tamara needs a strong male shoulder to lean on, John tells
her to go fuck herself.  She’s already apparently done that.

Ernesto and Pam (A2A)

Ernesto and Pam met and both knew each other were special.  They
talked and shared a history of militant/revolutionary activities in their
country, and laughed that it is amazing they hadn’t met before.  They
dated for awhile, and Pam got pregnant.  They got married, and raised
one child, an Alpha type male who later met a woman whose parents were
also militants…

With Alpha types, as you can see, society isn’t the measure.  They’re
experience and results oriented people who are very driven, and very assertive. 
They don’t always choose to be national leaders, but they naturally fit
into some kind of leader/mentor role.  It’s just how nature made them…and
none of us is smarter than nature.

In the end, let me just say that all this was just to make a point:
the advice to be yourself may be cliche, but it is true.  Be who
you are, and do what you have to do to get what you want.
some degree, that means learning “social lubrication” tactics to make yourself
more attractive to likeminded people.  It means being the best you
that you can be, not being someone else.  Be realistic about what
you are and what you can expect from that, and you’ll be able to relax
and enjoy life instead if banging your head against the wall of frustration
to have things that don’t fit you just because the grass seems greener.

A price is paid for being whatever you are.  It’s easier to pay
when you don’t spend your resources trying to be something you’re not.

Like goes to like.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.


  1. just browsing some FPUA sites. im interested to see things from the girls’ perspective. so far im not surprised — but i AM impressed! you cut the crap and get to the core! i havent read everything. what i have read is solid. i feel like i could sit you down with the boys, share some beers at a BBQ and you’d understand us 100%
    solid shit gals!
    i fuckin’ love this!–> “An Alpha’s pump-and-dump is a woman who he doesn’t trust”

    ANYONE who i dont trust gets “fucked and chucked”. it’s not complicated. nice site girls!

    – a PUA

  2. Thank you for the compliment, Oasys 🙂

    A confession though, this site is co-written by some male friends. I (Nicole) am the author in some cases, the mouthpiece in others.

    Before putting fingers to the keyboard, I’ve done some discussion and soul searching that was sometimes very difficult. We women like our illusions sometimes, and it’s hard to let go of the ones that make us feel good. I’ve found that I like the truth better though, which is why I write on this subject. It’s better to base one’s confidence on something that actually exists than something that doesn’t.

  3. My Alpha slowly came to realize I will keep his secrets only if nobody askes me a direct question about it(which almost never happens btw). He started to give me a speech on that and I stood my ground and I told him “No, you are NOT going to make a lyer out of me!” That was big because normally I bend over backwards to please him. But I mean it…that little bit of myself I keep! But at least I gave him the 411 on just how far he can trust me. So now he can trust he can’t trust me! Which gives him just one more thing to put his trust in.

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