Seems like all the relationship experts are publishing their version of “100 facts about men”. Much of what they’re saying though, isn’t extremely useful in the field. Some of it’s actually based on stereotypes that sometimes even men believe about themselves. So the Team G4G has decided to post our own version. We’re not sure if we’ll end up with a full 100, but we’re going to give it a shot. Here are the first 10.
1. It takes much more than a woman to make a man happy.
When a man doesn’t have a good woman in his life, he often behaves as if getting a woman or getting laid is a top priority in life. He himself may believe that this is the key to his happiness, but he is wrong. Though a good woman can increase his happiness, he needs some other purpose for his life.
A smart woman helps and supports her man with his mission, even if that’s just to serve fish and chips with a smile. She must also understand that sometimes he isn’t as attentive as she’d like him to be because his head is in “work space”. Don’t compete with his job/mission. You will lose.
The above tip is summarized from Freiderich Nietzsche.
2. Independent thinking and even fairly normal but good critical thinking men do not enjoy being tested.
Most will tolerate some degree of it because it’s only fair since they’re testing you too, but they don’t like it at all when your tests are administered based on the assumption that they are stupid or shady. If they didn’t like you, they wouldn’t be there.
3. Men don’t truly, madly, deeply love anyone romantically, until they are at least 40 years old, or of that general level of maturity. Before that, it’s all just hormones and practical concern.
This doesn’t mean that they don’t love at all. They’re just not capable of that death-grip lifetime love until then because their awareness is clouded by their sex drive. So they may care about you, but your function overrides your uniqueness until then. To a man under 40, a woman with the same “grocery list” of desired traits is as good as another. Some men never really grow out of this by the way.
4. The paternal instinct is just as strong, if not stronger than the maternal instinct.
If you take away a man’s children or even children in his care, you have made yourself an enemy. If you cheat on him and make babies in the process, it hurts him on the level of someone raping you and forcing you to bear their child and raise them. You may love the child, but you will totally hate the person who forced you to have it.
On the positive side, consenting stepfathers and father figures often do a better job than the biological ones. Men can fall in fatherly love with a child very much more easily than they are given credit for.
5. Men prefer directness, and don’t like mixed signals at all.
You may think you’re being subtle, or that there are some things a guy should just know, but to him you’re just being confusing. Don’t flirt with a guy if he has no chance, and if he flirts with you, tell him politely but directly that you’re not interested. It might disappoint him at the moment, but it’s better in the long run for him to know what’s going on.
6. The one thing that is 100% guaranteed to turn a man on is variety.
Though every guy has his preferences, this usually encompasses a range of types and looks. Even if a man loves you, and thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, he will wonder what it is like to be with a woman he loves a bit less, who is a little less beautiful. Some perfectly heterosexual guys have wondered at some point in their lives what it would be like to have sex with an intersex person or pretty male.
Many a woman has had her ego smashed by finding a man she thought she had on lockdown, in the arms of a woman she thought was less than herself in the hive pecking order, or with a man. So don’t take your man for granted. If he is faithful, it is not because of some superficial trait you have. It’s because he has stunning self discipline.
7. Men speak in more “brutal” and direct language amongst themselves than they do in the company of women.
So don’t take too much of what you might overhear personally. In fact, it may be wise for you to learn the southern belle technique of “tuning out” when two or more men are talking, except during moments when they explicitly include you. It will make you much more pleasant company.
If you’re dealing with them in your business, and have to be actively engaged in the conversations, listen well until you’ve got a good handle of the Manian language, but remember that you’re still female. Too much cursing doesn’t do well for a lady, even a somewhat butch, strong, competent lady.
8. When a man comes home from work, school, or a sustained stress, he needs at least half an hour to an hour of alone time.
This is some of the BEST advice I got before getting married EVAR!
When he gets off work, kiss him quickly and get lost for an hour. Don’t be anywhere around for that amount of time unless he invites you to come to him. Some days, he might need a little more time, but the hour mark is when you can bring him a snack or something.
As a working woman, you should try it too. If you work at home or are a home maker with kids who are below school age, wake up an hour earlier to get some “me time”. Then you’ll understand why he needs it.
9. Men have categories of women.
There is a type they will screw in secret, a type they will date but not commit to, and a type they will commit to/marry. These don’t always have to do with their perception of quality, so much as suitability. Usually though, it does have to do with their idea of quality.
A very few men only have two categories: women they won’t bother with, and women they will commit to, but most guys have tiers of value. These are unchangeable except by the man himself, so don’t think you can convince him that you are worth more. At the point that he indicates to you that you aren’t qualified for a position, just walk away. To do otherwise would only result in embarassing yourself.
10. Men need to be taken care of.
It is not because they are babies or spoiled. It’s because they think differently than women do, and this leads the vast majority of them to forget when and what to eat, or neglect important aspects of living comfortably. In time, a guy will learn to make do, but it’s seldom as nice as when there’s a good woman’s touch.
So even though he’s smart enough to do whatever he needs to do for himself, do things for him anyway. Feed him when he needs feeding, and manage home life so that even if he has chores, he has clear times or signals to do them. Sometimes it’s tough to do this without being too mothery, but if you pay attention, you’ll know where his boundaries are.