This article has been edited due to new information. We’ve all been trolled.
Speaking generally, men shag based on beauty and availability. Men only
commit based on social convenience.
Excellent point Nicole.
I read Roissy in DC to tick off the obvious pointers to his narcissistic personality disorder. It’s kind of scary though how someone so pathologically in love with himself can fool so many people into believing the crap he writes. Advocating wife-beating was one of his many recent low-points.
Hey Ian 🙂
While I do think there is plenty wrong with the guy, I’m not sure narcissism is one of them. Narcissists typically hide their failures better, don’t ask for help, and don’t take counsel from others too well. I do believe however, that he was very likely at some point, the victim of a malignant narcissist. Many men who have been, look for answers in the PUA community.
If we’re going to look at it from a therapeutic standpoint, we have to take all the factors into account. Psychology isn’t an exact science, and just because someone exhibits some narcissistic traits in text, doesn’t mean this is what they are. They’re expressing thoughts that may or may not be true to how they actually think. It is often what they want people to think they think, but not necessarily their instant reactions to things.
IMO, he’s just stubborn and much more conventional and banal than he wants to be. He views things in a similar way to a 1600’s poor “gentleman”. He has been brought up with an entitlement mentality, only to find that his social position renders him not exactly entitled to what he thought he was. So he has a contempt for his peers of similar status, but also a contempt for those of higher status, though he seeks to emulate them.
A guy who was raised by the television, or by people overly influenced by that sort of mentality, believes that he is entitled to undemanding hot chicks who ask no questions, until he wishes to marry. Then he deserves unconditional love from the unicorn-I-mean-hot chick with a heart of gold who has remained a virgin or close, waiting just for him.
This is Hollywood, not real life…but as the character Tyler Durden told his followers said, they’re pissed off. Roissy is in that group of guys who are pissed off because hot chicks are, at the end of the day, and behind the paint and silicone, human.
…and getting to the spousal abuse thing, as he discovers how human women are, each revelation of their humanity shocks him. I don’t think he was advocating actual abuse. He was just destroying the myth, more for himself than others, that hot = well adjusted. He doesn’t quite understand the full meaning of what he’s saying, which is why he can’t express a proper conclusion.
Every pretty lie he confronts screams, “Beauty is not what you’ve been taught that it is. Look deeper!” He can’t quite seem to grasp it though. Greater vulnerability to predators is the cost of certain types of beauty in nature. Male peacocks come to mind in this. The hot chick is a beacon for predators in an obvious way, and her life experiences often lead to that. By the same, less hot, but naturally beautiful women also have similar experiences. It’s just that this goes unnoticed because they don’t have the socially acceptable or mass marketable beauty.
It is very easy for a hot or beautiful woman to become accustomed to power struggles in the home, having her personality suppressed, and other problems more plain people don’t have as often. By the same though, it is very easy for a hot or beautiful man to become accustomed to the same. The most conventionally beautiful people I know are some of the most screwed up. Coming from a family full of them (light to medium complexioned, tall, well proportioned Black people), my looks-meter kind of broke at some point in my teens. I discovered that there is much more real beauty than what signals “popular genes”.
I learned the easy way. Some people though, have to learn the hard way.
As someone who has been in three extremely destructive relationships with different variations of the narcissist, I can tell you that narcissism is 100% impossible to diagnose from someones writing. Quite literally its impossible unless they exhibit some sort of socially abnormal rage. But from essays that are rhetorical in nature, its impossible. Straw man arguments won’t help counter Roissy’s views that you disagree with.
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