10 More Useful Facts About Men (11-20)

Here are 10 more useful facts about men.

11.  Men need to eat different things than women to feel okay.

Men need to eat more protein and fewer carbohydrates than women.  Women need a bit of extra fat to feed our babies and maintain our estrogen levels, but men don’t.  Being overly fat is more harmful to men’s health than it is to women’s because we’re built for it and store it in pockets under our skin, not usually around our organs.  So along with watching your own weight, watch your man’s.  Exercise and a proper diet is easier to maintain as a couple anyway.



12.  Men need to hang out with their friends without you.

Love is something we all need, be it romantic love or friendship.  So don’t deprive your man of the love of his friends.  Friends also help a person to stay in touch with themselves.  In order not to feel suffocated by you, men need to have the freedom to be themselves, so isolation from their friends and family is harmful to them and harmful to your relationship.  If you want him to stay the man you fell in love with, let him maintain the relationships that make him who he is.

13.  Men don’t fear commitment.  They fear breaking up.

Some few guys are really commitmentphobes, but the vast majority are not.  Most guys would love the stability, expression, and growth that being in a committed relationship brings.  The problem is that things can go wrong, and when they do, they can get very ugly.

So if it seems like a man is stringing you along, and not defining the relationship, the best thing to do is walk away.  He either thinks he can do better, and you’re just there to pass the time, or he senses that getting involved with you will ultimately lead to a painful disengagement.

14.  Men need to be touched.

Touch says what words can’t.  Demonstrate your feelings by touching men more.  Whether it’s hugging your brother, or giving your boyfriend a massage, these expressions show that you’re not all talk and no action.

15.  Sometimes men want you to say no instead of saying yes.

Although men want sex, and there’s nothing wrong with this, guys don’t always really want you to give in to their desires.  Sometimes they want or even need you to say no.  These times include when the sex would happen outside of your personal boundaries.  They want you to say no, to confirm that you are a valuable person who loves herself, and that you won’t sell yourself short.

16.  A man who loves you won’t leave things to chance and let you wonder if he cares or not.

When a man really loves you or even has the potential to, he feels something I like to call “primal monkey panic”.  It is the fear that he will lose your attention, especially lose you to someone else, before he has the chance to get close to you.  If a guy is not worried that he can lose you, then well, he isn’t worried that he can lose you.  You could fall off the face of the earth, and he wouldn’t care.

So don’t play guessing games.  He treats you exactly according to how much or how little he values you.

17.  Men really don’t like to do any kind of housework.

They will do it, but they don’t like to do it, and often feel imposed upon for being asked to do it.  So divide chores in a way that gives him the heavy or “grunt” work, or things that aren’t time sensitive.  Let him take out the trash, do yard work, and handle machinery.

18.  Men need to be allowed to be the man.

Even submissive men are still men.  It’s men’s natural role to define their sexual/romantic relationships in their terms.  If you don’t like the deal someone is offering, opt out.  Don’t try to manipulate or emotionally strong-arm him into doing what you want him to do.  You won’t like what you get.

Ultimately, if you don’t allow a man to be the man, he will find someone with whom he can.

19.  Men are more attracted to modest women than they are to trendy dressers, as long term mates.

You may attract alot of male attention by dressing provokatively, but it won’t be the good kind.  Dress modestly, and you may get less attention, but it will be filtered in favor of quality.

20.  Beauty confuses men when it is not socially convenient.

Being different, or even actually having a defect doesn’t always take away from someone’s overall beauty.  Also, most of it really does come from within, since humans don’t generally look so extremely different from one another.  So if you are beautiful, this will make an impact on people regardless of whether or not your beauty is trendy or considered “acceptable”.

The problems occur when the results of that impact are tempered or even twisted by societal expectations or trends.  Because men categorize women, and assign more long term value to the most socially convenient rather than the most beautiful or suitable, the more beauty you have, the more emotional danger you may be in when dating outside of your ethnicity or socioeconomic class.

So if you’re dealing with a status climber or a beta type male who is status and class conscious, if they are of a perceived higher level than you, don’t fall in love unless they show you they can handle the pressure.  These are best kept as platonic friends who will contribute to your circle of protection and exchange of pure love that is unhindered by concerns of social convenience.

Better a rock solid friendship than a weak romance.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

2 Comments

  1. Excellent blog. I’ve read some of the same sites you have. We men do have our share of contradictions, but you seem to understand that they aren’t that many, and they aren’t that hard to figure out. You’re an excellent writer, too.

    There seems to be a lot of this relationship/PUA kind of blogs lately, although this is the first female one I’ve seen. You give some good advice to women: Your readers should heed it. You should also recommend they get male friends to vet their potential mates — you’re right, we can size each other very quickly. Same goes women for other women. I was able to know my current girlfriend’s entire marriage plot arc merely by hearing her discuss him for about half a minute — and in the ensuing months, pretty much every detail of what I suspected has been confirmed. Meanwhile, I took 20 years to figure out my first love was a femme fatale obvious to even the casual observer. Go figure.

    Possibly the best advice here for women: Never interfere with a man’s mission. This is not a joke — if you get in the way of what makes life meaningful for a man, he will either tune out or leave altogether.

    As far as PUA advice, there is one I read that had an almost magical effect, albeit somewhat indirectly. I’ve only seen it in one book, and it boils down to this: Treat every woman you’re not interested in decently. Say hi, be nice, you can even be a bit flirtatious (without any manipulaton, of course). Women will sense you’re not interested, but appreciate the attention. You may make a few friends.

    Doing this seems to have the effect of making you a better person — more confident, which then allows you to be more attractive to the women you’re after. There seems to be this karmic movement.

    I don’t know if I’m explaining it well — all I knew is that when I started making the effort to appreciate all women (even on a shallow level, little things like saying hi, smiling at them, asking them about their day), things really changed inside me when it came time to try to find a relationship.

    FWIW. Cheers.

  2. Hi Mamasan, would you say that despite the potential pitfalls of interracial dating, is it still worth it to try & risk? I’ve dated both black and I think a status concious non black male, & you’re right about being in more danger of being used. But it seems like I can’t win either way, some black guys nowadays have another set of problems. Where would I find a decent guy?

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