What do men really want?

I’ve decided to make a post about what men really want.  Well, maybe not just men in general, but the men who matter: the ones who actually want and/or are in a real relationship.

Men are pretty straightforward about what attracts them when they’re not actively hunting. If they are trying to have sex with you though, they may lie to get you into bed. So it’s best not to trust what a guy says to you if it’s within even a remote realm of possibility that he may be trying to get with you. Best is to get to know him a bit and look at what he’s posted or said before he knew you or what he says among friends or associates.

Also, there is one big caveat in anything a guy says about his preferences.  Whatever he says, the woman should be of the same or a socially convenient class.  This may include ethnicity or religion. What that is depends on the guy and how socially dependent he is, regardless of his social class.  An “omega” male with debilitating shyness who looks like an elf on amphetamines, may think he’s too good for a woman who doesn’t look like a model or a porn star, if he is overly socially dependent.  A guy whose family expects him to marry within his ethnicity, who is very socially dependent, may care deeply for you on some level, but treat you like crap because he’s programmed to by his family’s or his community’s baseline bigotry.  So whatever he says he may want as far as looks or personality starts with the default requirement for the woman to be someone who would validate or increase his perceived status.

Still, it’s good to know what men want so that if you do meet one for whom you are socially convenient, you don’t screw it up by making assumptions based on the advice of people who don’t really relate to men.  Men are not so out of touch with their feelings and desires as many may think.  What they say they like is usually what they like when the social component is removed or the minimum social requirements are met.

The Sydney Morning Herald – What Men Want In a Wife
In this article, a nightclub owner admits that when he was younger, it was very important that his girlfriend be very hot, and that all his friends want (to shag) her.  He’s a good example of a supposed “alpha” male with a dark, socially dependent underbelly.  He says he’s looking for different things now, but a leopard doesn’t change its spots.  However, since it is hard to find women who are able to balance the social role of being a hottie and being a good trophy who won’t embarass the family or take half, he may have grown more realistic if not less socially dependent.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

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