The Slut Rules, Rule #3: Do NOT get pregnant!

Use condoms from start to finish, whether you trust the guy or not. If you do, then the chances are, you won’t get pregnant or a disease, so long as your selection was sound.

If you do get pregnant, by some miracle or extreme fertility, or because of a guy’s subconscious desire to get you pregnant causing “accidents”, be prepared to get an abortion.  If you cannot handle the idea of getting an abortion, you should not be having premarital/pre-cohabitant sex.  Even if your relationship is a committed one, to use a man’s genetic material without his prior and explicit consent is, in ethical terms, criminal negligence on the level of combined rape and manslaughter.

Absolutely, under no circumstances, should you make children without a man telling you that he wants to make children with you immediately, not “soon” or “someday”.

If you are not in a committed relationship, then he doesn’t really need to know that you’ve had an abortion.  Whether or not you love him, he apparently doesn’t think you’re worthy of keeping around as more than amusement.  So since you’re essentially worthless to him, then so are any offspring you would be carrying.

If you are in a committed relationship with him, getting pregnant, whether you have an abortion or not, could be the end of it.  Since some with less life experience may not understand why, I’ll spell it out based on something I’ve seen thankfully only happen to other people than me.

A good man doesn’t see any woman he’s shagging as worthless.  He wouldn’t put his penis in anyone he thought was worthless.  So women he’s shagging are graded based on his feelings of attachment to them, not their value as human beings.  His love for humanity, especially any humans who are carrying his genes, will cause him to extend the relationship beyond its natural lifespan, or to make a commitment to the mother of his children, at least on the surface.

So he will stay, but he won’t be monogamous.  Having a baby to keep a man, at best, only keeps his money.  You may lose his trust if you did it sneaky by telling him you were on the pill or at an infertile point of your cycle.  If the reason you weren’t stable before the baby was because you weren’t a good match, then you’ll be stuck with a guy who loves you like a friend or a sister, and may even shag you occasionally, but is still on the market for someone he can really feel at home with.  He may well even leave you for that woman when your kids are grown…or just leave to get away from you.

If you don’t start that cycle of dysfunction, and worse drag kids who didn’t ask to be here into it, you can avoid all that.

If you are the other woman in this kind of scenario, then it is extremely important for you not to make the same mistakes of your predecessor.  I’ll explain how.

Certain men have a kind of subconscious, perhaps instinctive desire to fertilize women they find very attractive or motherly.  Instinctively, attractive and motherly are one in the same, when a guy is attracted to a nurturing woman.  His logical side may be telling him that it’s not a good idea to have children with you at that time, but his subconscious is screaming at him to do it NOW.  So eventually, he will propose having sex with you without a condom.

For the love of humanity, you must refuse.  No matter how you feel, you must.  Subconsciously, he may take this as some sort of rejection, and react in that way.  Simply remind him that this is how he got into trouble with the last woman, and that you are not her and don’t want to be like her.  Tell him that you’d love to have his children, if the situation was stable, but that since it isn’t, you don’t want to drag helpless innocents into a bad situation.  You will not have fatherless children.

Now, staying real here, depending on your man’s level of dominance, you may not be able to successfully avoid condomless sex.  Stuff happens.  When you know that penetration is going to happen, you must remind him that there is the possibility of your becoming pregnant.  If he says it’s all good, then fine, but men say all sorts of things in the heat of the moment that they regret later.

So if you can manage it, don’t let him ejaculate inside of your vagina.  If he has, then as soon as he leaves, you should use spermicidal gel and a gauze pad, or better, a sponge.  Keep it in for the full 8 hours.  This will at least reduce your chances of conception.  After 2 weeks, get a pregnancy test.

When a guy starts having condomless sex with you, he feels he’s crossed a line, and shouldn’t have to wear one anymore.  You’ll be hard pressed to go backwards.  So at that point, you should use a diaphragm or the sponge.  I consider the pill a last resort due to the side effects and the fact that barriers with spermicide work very well.

Be mindful though, that condoms are the only reasonable protection against disease.  If you aren’t sure that the guy isn’t screwing around with women you wouldn’t go bareback with if you were a guy, then put your foot down about going back to condoms.  So some of this goes back to Rule #1Love him and yourself enough to not want to bring kids into a relationship until he is truly ready.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

2 Comments

  1. You’re just disgusting for promoting abortion as a legit form of birth control.

  2. If you have sex with women you don\’t stay with, then you\’re pro abortion.

    Women can and often do miscarry because of stress. Getting dumped, and other stressors can cause a spontaneous abortion.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*