If you are very, very lucky, you will meet the one guy in a thousand who is both capable of recognizing your unconventional beauty, and either uncaring of or willing to endure the looks of shared misery from the masses and pity from the few with more game and/or money and/or luck. They are out there. They’re not exactly plentiful, but they are easy to find. They stick out like sore thumbs and tend to do the jobs other guys either hate or don’t have the stomach or balls for.
They turn alcohol poisoned teenage girls’ heads to the side so they don’t choke on their own vomit, and carefully handle crushed arms and cradle smashed faces. They know what burning human flesh smells like from up close. They have looked despair into eyes frozen in place through plastic bags. So they can handle your little tummy roll thankyouverymuch. They don’t care that your boobs wouldn’t fill half a golf ball. That time you didn’t remember the date and bled down your leg wouldn’t phase them. They laugh to themselves not about your pooping during labor, but about how embarrassed you were about it.
They’ve seen worse than your pathetic little bunions.
You won’t realize what a treasure you have though. You will be waiting for him to fuck up. Just like nobody else cares about your unconventional beauty, you’ve somehow learned to consciously ignore it too. Since you live inside your body and not outside it though, you’ll internalize your belief that you are indeed ugly, and it will penetrate your subconscious. You will come to honestly believe that nobody can really think you are beautiful or really love you.
So when you start to have to pay your bill, you will curse every hoop as if it were some personal insult and not just a simple fact of life and Nature. It won’t matter if the hoop is labelled, “Cook for me,” or, “Make me a sammich!” it will hurt you just as much as, “Let’s try a five man gang bang.”
These men who actually see with their own eyes, shag with their own dick, and don’t need a woman to be wearing makeup below the neck and have a phosphorescent clitoris, you will secretly believe are sick and twisted. Worse, if what shocked them into independent thought and sex drive was taking a few knocks in life, you will punish him for each and every one. You will look for reasons to push him out of your life.
You lucky bitch.
Your luck will run out because some other unconventional beauty or a rare and elusive but still existing conventional beauty who has taken her own knocks to learn some reality, will jump hoops all the way to, “Let’s try a threesome.”