How Men Rate Women

Most of you who read this site have probably taken or heard of the Chateau’s dating market value test for women.  It’s pretty good, but I found it a bit overcomplicated.  If you consider how men react to your appearance and how they treat you then you pretty much know where you stand.  However, certain factors that are beyond your level of beauty can affect whether or not you’ll be classed as a sexual-only prospect or a relationship prospect.

When it comes to beauty, these are the most important things to men:

Relative size

Female primates are generally smaller than male primates, so in the male eye smaller = more feminine.  Some guys consider all women who are smaller than themselves to be more feminine, whereas western men’s scale tends to be very independent of their personal dimensions.  Whether or not a western man is a tall tub of lard, he prefers women of a somewhat masculine (sub 15%) bodyfat percentage.

There are exceptions, but these exceptions do not appear until a man has reached a level of realtime experience with women that they develop a practical rather than theoretical preference.  When that happens, most will go for relative size whether they’re western or not.

Some men override this particular marker, and prefer women larger than themselves for a variety of reasons.  These men are few and far between, and often select this way because they believe fat and/or tall women have lower standards of behavior.

Facial Beauty

If you have all your parts, smooth skin, and look facially female, you’re doing okay.  Some women are just going to score higher than others as far as raw beauty, but most women have some kind of “charm”.  It is important to take care of your teeth though.  Teeth can make or break you as far as facial beauty is concerned.  The condition of your gums does affect the shape of your face because of inflammatory issues.

So stay away from the sugar, brush and floss after every meal, and don’t chew gum.  Gum gives you a manjaw.

Also, shape your eyebrows and don’t have a moustache or fluffy sideburns.


Men don’t usually care.  If you’re skinny, it doesn’t matter if you have trouble carrying your purse without wheezing.  They’ll carry it for you.

If you’re fat, this is when your fitness will be important.  Many of us are recovering from a crappy industrial diet and haven’t reached our weight loss goals yet or simply don’t worry about that because the past is the past.  You will need to be more fit and be able to demonstrate that in order to compete with skinnier girls.  Even so, most guys are going to find you less attractive or take you for an easy target.  However, when a guy does break through that prejudice or doesn’t have it in the first place, he should be rewarded with the best ride of his life.


Wash yo ass.  Men don’t like a dirty, smelly woman who doesn’t know how to maintain herself.

Apparent Age

Youth is simply more attractive to the vast majority of men.   However, you run into a problem when you look much younger than you actually are.  Men will actually be disappointed that you aren’t chronologically as young as you look.

Whatever they may say, I have learned the hard way, just don’t tell.  It’s not really their business unless they’re going to marry you legally.  Worse, men nowadays prattle like mean girls and he will tell every dude who asks, how old you are.

Men think they’re being tricky sometimes and say that they don’t care so much about that or that they aren’t really looking to marry anyone or get into a serious relationship anyway, but this is a lie.  If they are asking you how old you are, they are looking for a reason to disqualify you as a long term prospect because they are looking for a long term prospect and want to decide whether or not you’re in the running.


Though objectively, a .7 hip to waist ratio and medium to large breastedness is preferred, in the western world guys don’t seem to care much about this.  Being skinny is more important than being feminine shaped or having boobs.  However, there are many guys running around in the west with more natural standards.  I would bank on a natural standard more than a trend because even though you might get socially downgraded for looking more naturally female, you are still going to pass the “boner test”.

Even though society and the standards of beauty are broken, you don’t have to be broken along with it.  If you’re trying to get a millionaire or celebrity, fine, take whatever meth you need, but if not then don’t worry about it.   Be female FTW.


This is another one of those things that has to do with both biological and social issues.  Most people are more comfortable looking at familiar looks.  How ever people divide themselves visually, people who look more like themselves, their family, and people they consider themselves a part of, are going to look more attractive to them.

Some men with “thrill seeker” genes are going to go for the exotic, but this is a minority.  When they’re not naturally attracted to difference, it’s often because of a trend or a belief that women who are different are exploitable with impunity.  The thought is, “She’s not one of us, so her feelings are unimportant.”  Sometimes this isn’t a conscious thought, but a belief that simply comes into play.

So for general purposes, if a guy is of a different ethnicity, he is likely judging whatever is different about you as either a kind of ugliness or a justification for exploitation.  In some cases, he may interpret things that are indicators of femininity in your culture as masculinity because of his own.

Graceful Behavior

Graceful behavior and body language is considered to be more feminine.  So some things they perceive as shortcomings or defects may be compensated for by behaving either ladylike or sassy in a way that is inviting and not overbearing.

Chew with your mouth closed.  Know how to use utensils even if you choose not to use them sometimes.  Don’t make him aware of your various body functions.  Just generally, don’t act like a dude.


This depends on culture somewhat, but long hair is considered prettier.  It doesn’t have to be straight hair, it just needs to be long.  If it’s not long, it needs to be interesting.  Somehow, you should crown yourself well.

These are the basics of how men rate women.  Where you stand in looks and first impression abilities, none of this will help you if you let yourself go or mistreat a man.  All this just shows you how to get your foot in the door and understand why one guy or another finds you attractive or unattractive.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

One Comment

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