New Masculinity Syndrome

Broken ManNew Masculinity Syndrome (NMS) is a term coined by spiritual counselor Arden Keren, meaning a collection of dysfunctional thought and behavioral patterns typical of human males who have bought into misandry or been brainwashed by misandrists.  Whether by choice or upbringing (usually upbringing by a woman with Fractured Femininity Syndrome in the case of modern western men currently under 50 years of age), they fear and hate masculinity and their own manhood, and do as much as possible to avoid it.  Sometimes this extends to ironically attempting to forcibly crush it in others.

The most obvious sufferer of NMS calls himself a “male feminist” these days.  What they really are however, are the slaves and henchmen of female supremacists.  These are the men who wear t-shirts with “this is what a feminist looks like” and wants to wear your high heeled shoes and underwear, not because it’s his fetish, but so he can experience your suffering.  During sex, when he asks if he is hurting you, it is not dirty talk or a rhetorical question.  Like many slaves though, not all are very good ones.  Some talk the talk, but are snakes in the grass pretending to be feminist, but have lost control of their inner animal.  More on that later.

The less obvious sufferer of NMS is the man afraid of owning anything.  His ego is over externalized, and he vehemently avoids owning even his own feelings or consequences of his own behavior.  He often has high levels of hatred and jealousy for men who behave like men and therefore reap the rewards of manhood.  He may be aggressive, but his aggression is usually misdirected and/or passive aggression.  He firmly believes that he should be able to get man things without man actions, and reacts with hostility and dismissal rather than self improvement, when faced with natural reality.

He has been convinced by his mother and other like minded women that normal and often naturally unavoidable parts of the female experience are somehow exceptionally horrible pains inflicted on women by men and perhaps an unjust god.  He feels responsible for the suffering of all women everywhere, and usually copes with this one of two ways: doing his best to alleviate this suffering by being a “nice guy”, or internalizing his role as the default victimizer/predator and women the default victims/prey.  Basically, either way he becomes a bad caricature of a woman: either a pushover or a bitch.

Though the majority of western men today are suffering from this condition, the men’s rights movement, and its more social interaction focused extension, the pick-up artist community, are proof that not all modern men are buying the hype.

(Update 2016: Because of confusion exacerbated by the mainstream media’s failures of investigation, I would like to make it very clear that though pick-up artistry falls under the umbrella of male empowerment, PUA’s and MRA’s are not the same thing.  There is plenty of overlap, but there are also a great many differences that render these two very distinct groups.  Roosh V. is not specifically a men’s rights activist, and Paul Elam is not specifically a pick-up artist even though looking at the sordid bits of his life, his game is “tight as an ant’s tooter”.  Without any at least consciously shady tactics, he apparently gets the job done.)

The Sexual Animal

Historically, in every culture, boys underwent an initiatory process on their way to manhood.  Though they had lots of time with their mothers, they also had lots of time with their fathers or other male role models who helped give meaning to their male gender identity.  In many cultures, if they were androgynes, they also had role models and guidance in this.

Men were brought into manhood through a series of passages that prepared them for their role and responsibilities, and often determined or predicted their rank among men in the society.  Part of this series of passages focused on helping the boy learn to deal with his sexual and violent nature in a way that was appropriate for their culture.  They learned to cope with stress, physical pain, deprivation, temptation, and developed a sense of self and identity within their culture or learned where they must deviate from the rules of their culture in order to surpass their culture if they were particularly strong willed.

Somehow or another, they would face their inner animal, and learn to deal with it constructively and productively.  They made peace with it in the way that one makes peace with needing to use one’s mouth to eat food.  It is necessary to survival, so one cannot be rid of it, but it is unwise to attempt to absorb nutrients through one’s eye.

Where things have gone wrong in modern western society is that the inner animal is viewed as something negatively primitive, and must be suppressed.  The intensity and fire that is both a natural and beneficial aspect of manhood, is looked down upon, and criminalized.  So passages that help a man to harmonize with his inner animal are discarded in favor of programming that dismisses it altogether as something bad/sinful.

They have very little exposure to their fathers or other male role models, and are raised almost exclusively by women.  Their fathers and/or the few males deemed “safe” are often cowed sufferers of NMS themselves.  They never get to see a healthy interplay of heterosexual (or even realistic, harmonious, long-term homosexual) intimate behavior.  The father’s masculine behavior, if he displays any, is framed as negative, and the male child is told that their father makes her suffer.

Whether an avowed feminist or not, the woman who hates men and hates being a woman and the realities and responsibilities that go with this, exacts her vengeance on the father by raising sons who hate or villainize manhood and idealize or victimize womanhood.

There are only three possible outcomes, and these now depend only on the strength of the man’s will, and luck in finding ways to make his own passages.

Fear of Masculinity

Men with NMS may become so afraid of masculinity and themselves, that they fear confrontation and fear sex.  This kills any chance that they will ever rise in any hierarchy, and they would rather suffer at the hands of others or opt out than to enter the fray and risk becoming what they view as a monster.

Some are so deeply invested in this fear that they form delusions that they are not suffering, or that their suffering is somehow more noble than standing up for themselves.  They are the martyrs who feed their ego with their ability to allow others to step on them.  They view this as their strength.

They were taught, usually by their mothers, that avoidance is the best way to solve problems with people.  So whenever there is a conflict, they react with passive aggressive avoidance.

This is the way of very weak beta or gamma/omega males.

Loss of Control

MonsterSome NMS sufferers, believing their inner animal to be evil and not knowing that it is possible to make peace with it, lose control of it habitually or periodically.  Since they never owned their inner animal, they view things they do when they lose control as somehow happening outside themselves.  They feel they were not responsible, and blame others or anything other than themselves for their behavior.

When faced with the reality or consequences of their having lost control, they resort to the avoidant, passive aggressive reaction.

In western cultures, this is the norm for men who could be perceived as alpha to normal beta, but who lack the consistency to achieve much.  They show enough of their true nature to get through the door and perhaps to the bedroom, but once there, they end up metaphorically watching and jacking off while someone more harmonized takes care of their wife or would-be wife if only they had the balls to commit to (own) anything.

The Miracles

Some few, proud, wonderful men who would have every reason to be crippled by NMS manage to recognize their problem and take steps to overcome it.  They have too strong wills and too much masculinity for it to be contained by the amateurish measures their surrounding society takes to kill their souls.

These rebels turn to pro masculine spirituality, game, the men’s rights movement, and/or intense self development, and face their inner animal, which is really their inner man often without a guide.  The road to recovery may be paved with danger and they may make many mistakes along the way, but one way or another, they determine to own at least themselves.

They face the mirror and say, “I am my sexuality.  I am my violence.  I am my fear, my anger, my joy, my pain, my longing, and my wisdom, and my foolishness.  I am me and I am my own.”

Now, before you get too far into your imagination about these heroic souls, understand that they have a long road ahead.  If you should encounter one somewhere along his journey, encourage but don’t shame him.  He is doing the best he can with the level of awareness he has at the time.  As a woman recovering from feminism, you also have your road to walk, and do not always do so with the utmost grace.

NMS and You

Understand that NMS is a psychogenic disease.  Its sufferers did not raise and program themselves to be so.  They are crippled.  Granted, like any other psychogenic disease, a person must take responsibility in their recovery, but one should no more take personally the behavior of a sufferer of NMS than they would someone with any other mental disorder.

When a guy flakes out or stops calling with no explanation, shirks his responsibilities, sends you mixed signals, or does any of the variety of behaviors associated with NMS, it’s not about you.  If you were thoughtful, caring, sensitive, and nurturing, and basically female, there is nothing more you could have done.  There is nothing that a feminine woman can do right enough for a guy with NMS.  They are emotionally handicapped.

At the moment, we know of no cure for NMS other than the man determining that he wants to be cured.  Most sufferers though, are unaware they have it.

More on NMS

New Masculinity Syndrome Symptom: Men Using Kink to Avoid Intercourse

Update, December 23, 2015: Possible Cures

Since we first started exploring this condition, some writers, collaborators, and readers have been doing field tests.  No, it’s not the scientific method proper, but we have been making some progress.

Just as “game” or pick-up artistry relies on knowledge of the general female reproductive wiring and multiple mating and dating strategies that are tried and true, in searching for a cure for NMS, we gave general male “instincts” some thought as well.  We have been fairly successful in at least getting the men in our lives to rethink their afore programmed perceptions of reality, and make some progress in overcoming NMS.

So far, the only thing that has worked within a relationship, is being consistently and insistently feminine, not just in manner, but in responsibilities.  We’ve dealt with a few issues along the way, from household duties to family finances to practical caring to authority designation.

I can’t say that it has been an easy road for everyone involved.  We’ve had some breaking ups and getting back togethers.  Some of the men have had a rough road as far as becoming whole men.  It’s all good though.  Everyone we’ve brought to this awareness has benefited from it.

This year, we also got into issues like abusive women, and abusive things normal women do because almost nobody calls them on it.

From outside the NMS sufferer’s relationship, or as their therapist, seeing a functioning, traditional family may help.  Just talking to a guy about manhood doesn’t really do much.  They have to see it in action.

I’m convinced that it is just a matter of informing people and then letting Nature take its course.  We panic during trends, but in the end, humans are sturdy survivors.  Things can only go so far before people wake up simply because they want to live.

Update January 17, 2016: Fractured Femininity Syndrome, and Art as a Rite of Passage

I’ve finally posted the article on FFS.  It was a hard “birth” but necessary since the current situation isn’t going to right itself without women righting ourselves.

In discussing the things women with FFS of the Medea variety do to destroy their male children, we got into education, and western rites of passage.  One of the passages young men used to go through, to the limits that they could afford it, was exposure to theater and the arts.  Today, we take our entertainment for granted, but before television and easily accessible cinema, going to watch actors play out the stories of one’s culture was a very big deal.

Because I’m not sure if it is my place to do so, I would really like it if a man or androgyne with some theater knowledge would take on the mission of making a list of plays, operas, and even movies and other things every western guy should see.  Let me know if you do, and I’ll link to it.

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.