A Woman’s Value

ponytail womanThere has been a lot said about what a woman’s value is and what makes a woman more or less valuable.  We covered some of what makes a woman more or less attractive in the previous posts on the Marks of Worthiness and Marks of Beauty.  In this post, I’d like to make it clear that there is a difference between your value for a particular function and your value in general.  I’d also like to point out that value is subjective.

Like beauty, value is in the eye of the beholder.  Your value to yourself depends on how much you love and respect yourself.  Your value to others depends on how much they love and respect you, and what good you are to them.  It seems harsh when put into words, but actually it’s not at all.  You may be totally useless, unlovable, and unworthy of any admiration to one person, while another loves you more than their own life, respects you, and treasures the very blinking of your eyes.

A woman’s value to a society depends on what people in that society need and desire from women.  Primarily, any society needs us to be healthy, nurturing, mates and mothers, because otherwise there would be no people and no society.  If a woman can’t or doesn’t want to be a mother, she still has value to the society if she is a responsible adult, especially one who helps to nurture and/or provide for children.  She may be as valuable, but she will not have the exact same value as a mother.  She will also however, not have the exact same value as a man.  Men’s primary value in a society comes from being healthy, loving, effective fathers.  Since they don’t give birth, their role is to provide shelter, resources, and make sure their mate(s) can bear and raise healthy children who will hopefully mostly grow to continue the cycle.

Bear in mind that society’s needs are not individuals’ needs and desires, and these are a whole other ballgame from Nature’s needs and desires.  We are technically apes though, so the line between Nature and society is so thin as to be nonexistent for millions and millions of years.  Whatever we’re evolved from or shaped from, depending on your beliefs, we have been social, tribal beings for so long that our social and natural functions are nearly the same thing.

So if the society becomes anti motherhood, or unnaturally reduces the role of motherhood, then it simply dies.  So a person who goes along with a society who does this is contributing to its death.

If one is a life affirming rebel in such a society, then the difference between their natural value and their social value in the virtual death cult around them becomes much more clear.  Thus, the state of confusion among many men, women, and androgynes today about their value…but in this article, we’re focusing on women.

Today, we are mostly free to make whatever choices we like about whether or not to be mothers, when we will be mothers if we will be, and what kind of mothers we will or won’t be.  The choices we make however, are not without consequences.  If we choose to be mothers, we have many choices in what sort of man we wish to make fathers…but again, every choice has consequences.

These choices will raise or lower your value to the society…the ones that are dying, or the ones ascendant from within, or replacing the dying ones.

In my observation, these are indeed interesting times.  My advice to young ladies is that if you want to be valued, be valuable to people who are not socially suicidal.  Jump off the rickety rafts onto the islands of social sanity that you find. The most stable communities are going to be the ones with the right balance of tolerance and protectiveness. Even if you fit the classic cisgender assigned female at birth woman role, the safest place for you to be in, and the one in which your children will receive the best and happiest upbringing,  is a community with the least amount of hate of difference, but the most hate for abuse and stupidity.

Your only value to the corporations is as a worker, a consumer, and producer of workers and consumers.  Your only value to a man who wants to have sex with you, but does not want you to be the mother of his children is a pleasure object to deposit his sperm into.

Wouldn’t you rather be someone’s ray of sunshine?

Aside of the primary need for you to be a mother, society has other needs from you.  Individually, the people in your life need you and need your fully realized and free flowing womanhood too.  Your friends need you to be a good friend who is being real with herself so she can be real with them.  Your family needs you to be part of the social backbone and spiritual expressiveness of it.  Your mates need to touch you and be touched by you, and feel the physical expression of womanly love.  Your children and future children need you to have a healthy body and mind, so that you can raise them to survive and thrive in this crazy world.

We need you, woman.  We need you to be a woman.  Do that, and you will be valued by people of value.


About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

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