Fractured Femininity Syndrome

extinction, by Nicole LasherFractured femininity syndrome (FFS) is a term for a set of dysfunctional behavior patterns typical of women in misandrist or anti-male shifting cultures.  When a culture becomes truly misandrist, it dies or is consumed by another culture, becoming virtually extinct.  So it happens within the context of the cultural chaos just before decline.

It is the natural role of women, the gatekeepers of sex, and the physical bearers of children, to set the standards for a culture.  It is the natural role of men to enforce the standards that the women set, and to protect women from those within and outside the society who would disregard those standards.

It is the natural role of androgynes/intersex people to be the bridge between the majority on the far ends of the gender spectrum’s interests.  Having more of a psychological usually due to biological equilibrium, they are aware of the conflicting primal interests of the genders and the social and societal interests.  They help navigate the complexities to increase cooperation.

When the balance is disrupted, and men are considered outsiders in their own society, it is game over.  The death throes of the culture may take a couple of generations to finally finish though.  Sometimes, if the culture is strong enough, and its people robust enough survivors, it can be saved through a revival of cooperation between the genders.

It has been and should be noted by many MGTOW (men going their own way), that even in an optimally cooperative society, priorities will be skewed towards the needs of women because of their role in reproduction.  So males and masculine androgynes must assert their needs in order to keep a balance.  This must have been crucial to our survival for some reason since across cultures, even in matriarchal ones, women are generally more attracted to dominant men.  The variations are mostly in the way they assert their dominance.

There is some speculation that the Gay rights movement is an attempt to regain balance by welcoming the contributions of androgynes to western society.  Though they are statistically rare, they have become more visible because on some level, people understand that they are needed.  When women became more vociferously anti male, androgynes needed to become more vociferously humanist, and not just for in-group self defense.  To defend the rights of homosexuals of either main gender, or of feminine men or masculine women, one must defend the rights of all, including all men.  So anti-male/masculinity efforts and rhetoric on the part of women inevitably burns the bridge.

We now live in a time when second wave feminism has taken hold of western culture, and women and girls born in the 1970’s and beyond have experienced legal equality and in some areas, advantage over men.  In a rather psychologically violent transition, men, maleness, and masculinity has been villainized, even for food (“meat is murder”) or in defense of the state (idealized pacifism).

From the cradle, and unfortunately to often to the grave, they never knew a world wherein women were generally grateful for men.  Their brothers never knew a world in which they felt needed, so they in turn are not grateful for women.  I’m generalizing here, but you get the point hopefully.  Both main genders are screwed, and so as usual, the androgynes are the bulk of the very few who are talking sense nowadays.  So again, much of the credit for this article, same as the last on NMS (new masculinity syndrome), goes to Arden Keren.

The Cracks in the Mask of Rationality

Women have a variety of reactions to the consequences of their mothers and grandmothers having dropped the ball by alienating their would-be enforcers and protectors as well as the bridge-people between them.  Some further the decline, while some attempt to slow or reverse it.

Like men with NMS, the vast majority of the women alive today with FFS did not create this situationThose with negative manifestations of it do a lot to maintain it though.  Much like European Americans who are complicit in that country’s harmful levels of racial cronyism, which women with negative manifestations of FFS and men with negative NMS help to maintain, they are personally responsible as soon as they are, as individuals, aware.

There is no human being on Earth who does not at some point face the choice between harming another for their own benefit, and cooperating for mutual or anothers’ benefit by the age of 12 or so.  Since empathy is in-born, barring brain damage, unless one is trained to ignore it, the choice to ignore the suffering of one’s male peers is indeed a choice.  Even in the context of conformity and social reward, the choice being more attractive does not make it any less a choice.

Women, being generally solipsistic (I include myself in this), tend to backwards rationalize and excuse our choices.  Often, we choose to allow ourselves to run on a sort of “autopilot”, and make bad decisions or continue negative patterns of behavior, and rationalize this with past traumas.  One should understand that this is a very unnatural state for a woman to be in.  We are the gatekeepers of sex, and the wombs in which new people are gestated.  We cannot afford to be impractical.

So we must check ourselves.

Before we get into some of the FFS patterns, let me nip one of the standard defenses that would prevent self checking in the bud.  The NAWALT (not all women are like that) defense is insufficient for the same reason the NAWPALT (not all “white” people are like that), the TARC (those aren’t REAL Christians), and the BING (but I’m not ghetto) answers are insufficient when confronted with the dirt any of our respective peers have done.  They are “shucking and jiving” at best, to appear harmless to lull others and yourself into a false sense of security about the power you have to harm them.  At worst, they are denials to dismiss and invalidate the grievances of those confronting you.

Whether someone is completely out in left field, or they have a legitimate gripe, denial is not the right answer.  Learn to tell people to go to hell when they’re being completely stupid, and not get dragged down with them.  When however, they’re responding to a reputation that is well earned by your peers, own that and pledge to do better or stay on course if you’re already okay.  Then focus on talking to your peers about their misbehavior, rather than dictating to their victims or sympathetic allies how to properly respond to being crapped on.  To be a jerk towards someone and then judge how the receiver responds is crossing the line into narcissism.  You are then justifying a lack of empathy for those who’ve been damaged by people in the group you belong to.

I use characters from Greek legends to describe the various reactions, partly because they are fitting, and partly because in order to heal western culture, we need to respect it.  “Westernization” is too often used as a derogatory term without clarification, as if western culture is somehow wrong or bad by default.  There are negative and harmful aspects of it, but then there are in all cultures or groups of cultures.  So a distinction needs to be made between the negatives and the positives.

The Phaedra Reaction

Phaedra was an Athenian queen, married to Theseus, but in love with his son from a previous relationship, Hippolytus.  She began to starve herself in depression over her situation, and confided her feelings to her nurse.

The nurse, supposedly in concern for her mistress’s life, blabbed to Hippolytus, who promised not to tell, but rejected the idea of starting any kind of affair with his stepmother for the obvious reasons, and because he was a staunch devotee of Artemis.  Some claim that he was homosexual, but since he had vowed virginity to a female Goddess, it could be that he was not having sex with anyone.

Finding out that the nurse had shamed her by reporting her feelings to Hippolytus, she came up with a plot to save face just in case he didn’t keep his promise, and to get vengeance on this man who had rejected her.  She told her husband, the king Theseus, that Hippolytus raped her.

Theseus then had Hippolytus killed, using one of the curses he had been granted by Poseidon.  Later, Artemis told Theseus the truth, but it was too late.

Also worth mentioning here is Phaedra’s mother Pasiphae, who put a curse on her husband, Minos, so that he would ejaculate centipedes and scorpions if he had sex with other women.

As a manifestation of FFS, the Phaedra, distraught that her haughtiness and hostility or other unattractive traits do not win her the love of men, accuses them of rape.  She has developed an unrealistically high sense of entitlement, even for a decadent society, and her id is completely out of control.  Approaches from men she is not attracted to, as well as rejection by or simply indifference from men she is attracted to, are all considered assaults.  So it’s not a big step to accuse them of rape.

Another manifestation of the Phaedra reaction is the woman who exploits men’s protective impulses to use them as weapons against other men.  She may accuse all or most men of being potential rapists, and demand they fight “rape culture”.  She may accuse the men of different ethnicities of being rapacious, and demand that men of her own ethnicity behave protectively and kindly towards her, despite her bad treatment of them.  This is not the usual social contract of male protection in exchange for female nurturing.  It’s overblown to the point that she feels she and perhaps women in general, are entitled to treat men like dirt while demanding their protection.

Many men have been the Hippolytus, and many more the Theseus in dealing with a Phaedra.

The Electra Reaction

The FFS Electra remembers her protective father or male role models, and essentially kills her mother (or her mother’s influence) to avenge the death (or humiliation) of her father.  She may, for a time, become frumpy, butch, and/or a sort of bad caricature of a man to imitate her father, having her father live in her, or as a rebellion against the influence of her mother.  She wanted to be a feminine woman who gets to do feminine things, but she cannot because her situation does not allow her to be.  This may be true or not, but this is what she’s feeling deep down.

Higher testosterone women are more likely to have an Electra reaction than others for two reasons: they tend to be more masculine and identify more with their fathers or male role models and peers, and because masculinity in women makes you a feminist postergrrrl these days.  The Electra may be confused and torn inside, but to the outside world, she is a capable, independent woman who is celebrated for her strength and competence.

The problem with this is that unless she was born with a condition that affords her enough circulating testosterone to be androgynous, she is still very much a woman.  Today, unless she has older female relatives who are traditional, and used their strength and competence to benefit their families, she is a round peg who today’s western society will hammer into a square hole until she splits.

Inevitably, she becomes a deceiver who is so entrenched in a false identity, that she deceives herself.  She was not allowed to be a girl, so she is not allowed to be a woman.  So her natural solipsism may cross the line into narcissism, partly because of the amount of focus on the self that is required to maintain the deception, and partly because she is constantly rewarded with admiration, attention, respect, and often fear.

She is punished whenever she behaves in a more classically feminine way, or feels punished.  Again, we are talking about someone who has been living behind a shield of masculinity most of their lives, so things feminine women normally go through, and are taught to cope with, would be fresh and new pain to her.  Much like the Phaedra reacts violently when her entitlement bubble is pierced with rejection, the Electra reacts violently when someone “reduces” her by reminding her of her womanhood and inability to fight Nature and win.

The Medea Reaction

The Medea with FFS is more rare at the extreme end, but all too common in the milder sense.  She destroys men through their children.  The extreme Medea will actually kill a man’s children in vengeance for his perceived crimes.  The more common Medea slowly psychologically poisons the children so they are alienated from their father.

The Medea grew up with a certain image of her status and place in the world.  Her ideals are very deeply ingrained and rigid…until her worldview is challenged.  If things don’t turn out to be like the ideal she has in her head, she reacts by burning everything down.

Until she has children, she may seem like the ideal woman.  She is extremely loyal, taking risks that other women would find challenging, with ease and the fervor of ardent love.  She will throw away everything and anyone for her man.  She places her man on a pedestal above everyone, even her own family.  She may take a lot of scorn from those outside the relationship, and abuse within it, so long as that bubble of ideal love remains intact, and her view of the man she has set on the pedestal remains intact.

As soon as the reality sets in though, that there is no ideal situation or person in an un-ideal world, the crazy comes out.  Where a relatively well functioning woman, even with a touch of other forms of FFS would try to make the best of the situation, take in the experiences and expand their worldview, the Medea short circuits and turns destructive.

The common Medea is the machine that churns out men with NMS.  She poisons her sons against their own masculinity, and trains her daughters to hate men.  She essentially cuts off a man’s line, raising children who are unlikely to reproduce, and failing that, unlikely to pass on the essential pro masculinity components of their culture.

Because she feels she has been damaged by her man’s humanity and masculinity, she teaches her sons that common manifestations of masculinity are bad.  The father is framed as a predator or as a slaver keeping her in captivity, and he should never be like his father.

Father has to go to work; he never spends any time with the family.  Father has a limited budget; he doesn’t care about the family’s needs.  Father wants sex; he is an animal plaguing mother with his constant carnal needs.  Father gets fed up and yells; he is an emotionally abusive tyrant.  Everything is framed so that no matter what the father does, it is never good enough, is bad, and the son had better not turn out like his dad.

It’s not always done in an obviously hostile way.  Sometimes the mission of vengeance is accomplished through smothering, coddling, or neglect of important things kids need to get a balanced view of masculinity, or femininity for that matter.

Basically, fractured femininity syndrome is female vengeance.  The woman ceases to be merely a woman, and becomes an agent of vengeance, depending on who or what is at fault for her condition, in her worldview.

Recovery

As with NMS, women with FFS are mostly unaware that they are acting out the syndrome.  As is evinced by the women who participate in various types of humanist and men’s rights efforts, some may become aware, but this is only the first step in recovery.  One must break the habit of turning off empathy for men and androgynes.

With the state of the world, especially the western world as it is though, this can be dangerous and costly.  So a good second step after one becomes aware is to find or create relatively cooperative communities, and put effort into bringing about or maintaining optimal cooperation.  Membership in a cooperative subculture provides the safety of numbers, and a group of female role models who can guide a woman to whole, well rounded femininity that is centered around nurturing rather than vengeance.

It is important that the women and feminine androgynes in a community take on the duty of guiding young and newcomer women because this is natural, and because women need to allow men and masculine androgynes to do their job in the community without micromanagement.  The two main genders’ interests need to be distinct in order to cooperate.  Munging them overmuch just leads to more confusion and lower production of positive results, such as well raised children who grow up to be balanced, viable adults.

FFS, like NMS’s best cure is the simple facts of life.  Nature, biology, asserts the reality of things, and all people really need to do is accept what it is that they are seeing, and surround one’s self with others of open eyes.

 

About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.

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