Game for Girls

Earlier this year, Time.com
reported that topless sunbathing was falling out of fashion in France. 
This sent a ripple across the blogosphere of people commenting on what
seemed like a sudden shift.  Turns out that on further exploration,
this wasn’t really news at all.  It’s just that non French people
only recently noticed a change that has been in the works for a long time.

Since the 70’s there was campaigning from feminists, who take most of
the credit for the sexual revolution, to allow topless sunbathing on public
beaches in France.  They won partly because they were promoting the
idea of nudity being disconnected from sexual invitation or availability. 
It was overly idealistic to expect men to become indifferent to nudity
just because they could be culturally influenced to accept it and take
it in stride though.  Even in cultures where nudity is normal, people
are not indifferent to the visible condition of the body.  So if you’re
not being viewed as available, you are still being rated for your beauty. 
In cultures that are very looks critical, allowing nudity only makes it
easier for people to devalue you for your looks.

This lesson was clear in French culture well over a decade ago, and
young French women are opting to cover up.  The ones who are still
bathing topless and dressing immodestly are considered low class, tourists,
or old ladies.  Yes, it is the sight of saggy boobs that has done
what moralist protesters and gawking male immigrants could not.  Young
French women, horrified at the sight of their mothers’ pendulous, pancake
like, or incongruent surgically enhanced breasts do not want to grow up
to be “that woman” who parades her old titties around the beach.

Nudism/naturism isn’t suffering because the modesty trend.  Private
and semi public areas that are nudism friendly don’t lack for freedom loving
individuals who sincerely don’t bother about clothing.  These are
considered the proper context in which anyone should feel free to be undressed. 
Similar to places in Germany, Finland, and other European countries where
there is “locals only” tourism, the idea is to have safe places. 
The only people in them would be people who actually come from the home
culture, or are connected by kinship or friendship.

The modesty trend in France isn’t about religion as much as it is about
context.  The general public sphere is not one in which women feel
safe to be nude.  Living near one of the fashion capitals of the world
also lends to much thought and discussion of clothing and what styles communicate. 
So it’s shouldn’t be surprising that women there would decide to dress
for the role they wish to play in life.

More opinions and posts about the modesty trend:

Secular
Modesty Rages in France

Only
Oldies Go Topless On French Beaches

According to Time Magazine, France is seeing an upsurge in “prudishness”.  The proving ground of many if not most western fashion and social trends, was slutting it up only last year.  Apparently, the reality of the consequences has hit hard and fast, so the buzzword du jour is “pudique“.

Though 62-63 million is not a number to sniff at, it may be the smaller population that has accelerated the French evolution beyond the sexual revolution.  Those who once turned up their noses at others’ “puritanical” ways are now seeing that a balanced and realistic approach to sexuality doesn’t require religious enforcement.  Aggressively secular people can realize that you can’t fool Mother Nature.

Will it catch on?  I hope so.  Though I’m not too big on trends, this is at least one that makes some kind of sense.

Dating a guy with some degree of pull, status, or “street cred” may cause you to feel safer and more confident.  Nobody would blame you for taking those little extra steps to look nice and dress better.  You’re the female representative in his social sphere, and when you look good, it makes him look good.  Problem is, it is possible to look too good but in the bad way.

The men with the highest social status’s wives and girlfriends may wear the most expensive bling, and look as if they never have to walk more than two steps on bare pavement, but unless their partner is there to reap the immediate benefits of their appearance, they are dressed modestly.  The idea is that her sexiness is at his disposal.  If he has no say in her appearance, then he has no say in the consequences.  It is a signal that he has no say in her conduct.

When a man has a woman, this social proof is and should be attractive to other women because he is at little or no physical risk from female attention.  When a woman is taken, the men around her should be warned away from her.  In fact, they should be warned that she is not for sale even before she is taken.  After she is taken, she should look as if she is not available.

What this means exactly, depends on what is customary in one’s culture or subculture, and the man’s personal preferences.  Some can have alot of cleavage and a miniskirt on so long as they are wearing a ring, and other men will stay away.  In some places, that and unavailable behavior will do the job.  Most guys I know who have some “rank” though, would prefer their woman be covered at least from the chest to the knees, meaning no cleavage and no minis.

Unfortunately, many women get into trouble by thinking that how they were dressed when they got the man is how they should dress when they have him.  They also confuse the freedom of nudism with the idea that revealing clothing is okay in normal situations.  It’s not the same thing.

Clothing is a uniform or a costume.  One should dress for the role they intend to play.  Dressing as if you are in the market for easy sex will attract men who are looking for that.  The fact that you have a boyfriend or husband, but are dressed as if you are still looking, makes him look weak.

Your man should not have to tell you this.  Wearing your ”taken” costume is something you should do on your own.  If he has had to tell you this, then your relationship is already on borrowed time.  You’re running around acting as if you don’t have a partner, or as if the one you have isn’t good enough.

When you dress nicely but modestly, you increase his social standing or stabilize it rather than reducing it.  You show people that you respect your man, so maybe they should too.  Someone in this world thinks he’s worth being loyal to.

So when you have a boyfriend, suit up.