Almost every relationship site has a checklist for how to tell if someone is a slut or a jerk. The G4G team thought it was time for some balance. So this post, made of tips from old fashioned moms, dads, and guys who actually know how to pick ‘em, is on how to tell a woman is not a slut. The next is going to be how to tell a guy is not a jerk.
How to Tell a Woman is NOT a Slut
1. She is modestly dressed, even in the peak of summer.
Modesty standards vary from culture to culture, and by situation, so you may have to play this one by ear. However, the non slut will be modest relative to those around her and what is customary. She’s obviously not trying to get male attention by advertising sexual availability through her clothing or lack thereof.
She’ll be the girl wearing loose fitting, draped garments in a hot climate, or the one wearing truly comfortable dancing clothes and shoes in the club.
2. She behaves politely, but not capitulating.
She behaves civilly to everyone within reason. She says please and thank you to people serving her. She calls men and women much older than her Sir or Ma’am or her cultural equivalent. However, stealing a line from Troy, she is well practiced in saying no to men.
3. She is well groomed, but for real.
If she wears makeup at all, it is for work, special occasions, or to cover a scar. She likes her face and skin to feel clean, and likes to smell good. She has a mom who hounded her almost or perhaps beyond the point of dysfunctional harassment about hygiene and neatness. As frumpy as she may appear compared to the painted women around her, she’s as comfortable to be close to as a teddy bear fresh out of the laundry. Speaking of which…
4. Hearts and teddy bears, unicorns and handicrafts.
She actually wears t-shirts she painted herself. She knows what an applique is. She wears hearts despite all the feminists saying not to because it scares guys (read alpha pseudo commitmentphobes and betas beating their heads against the Hollywood sign) away. She weaves friendship bracelets for her friends, or if she’s more handy with tools, makes friendship pins, barettes, and necklaces.
By the way, you can open by asking about some bit of home made fluff she’s wearing.
5. Her hands smell faintly of onions.
This woman cooks often enough that no matter how much she washes her hands, or what kind of hand lotion she wears, the smell of onions is locked into her pores. The few days you catch her not smelling like onions, she smells like cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or allspice.
Because she cooks at least for herself, any fake nails will be press-on. Her nails will also not all be an even length unless they’re all short.
6. She is a real athlete.
Her idea of sports is more than aerobics or riding a bike that goes nowhere. She may not be a pro, but she takes what she does seriously, even if it’s just her daily walk. Not all non athletes are sluts of course. Just that being an athlete reduces a woman’s chances of being a slut dramatically because, liberal as she may be politically or socially, she has body confidence. She doesn’t need to be physically perfect to believe in herself as physically worthy of caring for. Her idea of fitness doesn’t come from television. It comes from the pavement, some weights, a racket, a bat, or sufficiently avoiding finding her back or face on a mat.
She knows enough of personal victory and has racked up enough success that she doesn’t need to screw random guys to bolster her ego.
7. She talks about her dad/family in the first lengthy conversation.
By the time you’ve had a real talk with her, she’s told you about her parents in positive terms, and maybe about the time her brother read her diary. She’ll tell you about how she was raised, and whether or not she adheres to that, and how closely. Without necessarily saying so, she’s giving you fair warning that if you’re not commitment material, you’d best end the date and go your merry way, or things will get ugly. If you’re not husband material, you do not fit into her life. You don’t even fit her profile. If you are looking for a wife, then this is good news for you. From there, you can relax and focus on love and compatibility issues. This is your cue to make a spark.
8. She is escorted, especially after dark.
Women with honor usually come from families of men with honor. When they’re away from their family, they often attract male friends who function as brothers (not emotional tampons). When she goes out at night, it’s because one or more of them invited her, or volunteered to hang out with her and female friends.
For this reason, to catch a non slut, it’s best to work on your day game, because you won’t find many of them out partying unescorted or in a party of fewer than three female friends. If you do figure out a guy with her is a platonic friend, you should be ready to pass his scrutiny perhaps before hers. If you are, then it’s cool, but if he doesn’t like you, you’re done. With a non slut, the male relatives and close friends are the scale you’re being measured against.
9. She has an air of innocence.
It’s hard to define what this is, but you know it when you encounter it. She is a sensitive person who believes in love and romance. Though she is careful, she doesn’t want to believe that you mean her any harm. This makes her very vulnerable to lying, predatory types. Although “rescuing” isn’t what some may view as a healthy way of describing the act of taking her off the market, the cold truth is that this is what you’re doing. You’re snatching her up before she gets rolled under the combine that is dating life in the west. If you look deep down, emotionally this is basically what you’ll feel too. “Us against the world.”
If you don’t feel protective/territorial about a woman, I don’t care how hippy you are. You should worry. Even submissives feel that way towards their Dommes. If someone harms their woman, it would tear out their heart. It’s part of what I like to call “primal monkey panic”: a somewhat irrational feeling of panic that you could lose a woman and worse that who you lose her to might harm her.
10. Last but not least, she LOVES kids, and kids LOVE her.
Babies smile at her because she reminds them of their mom. Old granny type women call them beautiful in the grocery store because she reminds them of themselves when they were young. If a kid is lost or needs some help, they ask her because something about her just says “mommy”. Her gynecologist dreams of the day he will be the catcher of her special offspring.
…and if for some reason she should have to scold someone else’s kids, they don’t talk back to her.
We hope this list is useful at least in clarifying some things. Just remember, there are exceptions, and life didn’t always go perfectly for everyone in this age of casual sex and divorce culture. Some people are doing the best with what information they have, but at the same time character and honor still is what it is.
Be also mindful that hoes mimic the traits of nurturing women when they’re looking for a retirement plan. If you’ve fallen in love with someone, and her flavor is on the courtesan side, you have a decision to make whether you want to break up, be the pimp, or be the client. Whatever you decide, it’s just good to know what you’re getting into.
This list should also be useful to players/PUA’s who are looking for ethical ways to get their casual sex desires fulfilled. If a girl has many of the above behaviors or patterns, you may unintentionally break her heart by getting into a casual encounter or relationship. If she’s not built for slutting around, you could be adding momentum to whatever downward spiral she’s on. Since there are plenty of fish in the sea for you, it’s best to throw that one back. It’s too young.
This is the thing about loving, nurturing women as opposed to the brutal sort: no matter how old the woman is, love is forever young. This is why we miss people who loved us and who we loved when they die even of old age or a lengthy illness. They might have been old as dirt, but their love always felt brand new.
So basically, a non slut always keeps her newness because she always keeps her potential to love. The loss of it is the loss of her life, so she lives her life in a way that preserves it.
Continue reading 10 Maternal Signs: How to Tell a Woman is NOT a Slut