Banal Evil: Ways Women Abuse Men and Boys


Some sick women love to see their men in fights.  Some specialize in getting their men into actual fist fights, while others manipulate their men into getting into all sorts of trouble just to fulfill their desire for drama.  Instigating or pushing your man into trouble is abuse.

Sometimes it’s about drama, but sometimes it’s abuse by proxy.  The woman wants to punish the man, so she encourages him to do something that she knows will bring his downfall.

Gossip and “Dirty Laundry” Public Shaming

Telling lies about a man or truths to the public that should have stayed in confidence is abuse.  On the one hand, if someone has truly wronged you and may harm others if you don’t speak up, you should say something.  On the other, be aware that your perspective of the situation may not be the only one that matters.

False rape accusations, for instance, harm the man they’re leveled against, as well as other survivors of real rapes whose credibility is questioned because of the frequency of false accusations.  That is an extreme example though.  Calling someone a jerk or a player whose intentions towards you were honorable, calling someone a deadbeat when they are doing their best to be responsible, and other trash talk crosses the line of abuse when it is done out of malice.

A bit of gossip is common and beneficial for women, since we are social, and this is how we roll.  Some women take it too far though.  No secret is safe with them, and they are willing to lie to get their way or bring about more drama.  Remember, when someone uses their advantage over an innocent or at least benevolent person to harm them, this crosses the monster line.

Women who manage to reach a certain level of social status sometimes extort their own family members with intimate information.  Rather than using the darker aspects of her social skills to protect her family, she basically feeds on her own with the threat or bringing shame on them.

Using the Children as Pawns, and Other Reproductive Manipulation

When a woman is using children as tools of manipulation, this is abusive of both the man and his children.  This exploits the man’s interest in providing for, protecting, and nurturing his children.

The pregnancy trap is one method of abuse.  A woman will become pregnant as a way to keep a man tied to her emotionally and/or financially.  Using a man’s genetic material without his consent is equivalent to a combined rape and murder, with many abuses in between.  If you can imagine a scenario in which a man drugs you or seduces you through lies, impregnates you, forces you to carry and bear the child, then either takes them from you and forces you to pay, or extorts you into living with them on penalty of harm to the child, this is what you are doing to him.

Accidental pregnancies do happen, so a woman must consider this before she has sex with anyone.  She should ask herself the question what she would do if an accident happened.  She should also discuss this with her partner at an appropriate point in the relationship.

Another way women abuse men and their children is by using custody preference against men.  Both parents should always have access to the children regardless of practical custody arrangements.  Custody should be based on the practical and emotional needs of the children over the parents.  Once you have children, their needs come first.  Period.

If you are hurting your ex through your children, you also hurt your children.  You are being a bad example and depriving them of the benefits of having their father in their lives.

This is by no means a complete list of ways women commonly abuse men.  I will likely add more in the future.  Feel free to comment with ideas and feedback.


About Mamasan

I'm a multifaith spiritual counselor with lots of experience assisting people with improving their relationships. Feel free to comment on the site or contact me if you have an issue you'd rather discuss privately.


  1. >ctrl+f ‘circumcision’

    >0 results

    It’s the most obscene act of banal evil performed on males in our culture. What really irritates me is the fact that women trivialize circumcision by claiming to have an aesthetic preference for mutilated penises.

    • I never understood that. Where I wouldn\’t penalize a guy for being circumcised, I do get a sort of pang of horror when I see it. There\’s this giant scar all the way around, and you wonder, \”I wonder how this one is broken…\”

      Every man who has had that inflicted on him has some kind of dysfunction. There is nerve damage, circulation problems that come out as they age…people should not do this to boys. Ever.

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