Almost everybody single or poly or on the d/l tried them. Most of the women had the same bad experiences, just some more or some less. A scant few had got lucky and had good experiences. Yet no matter how the companies tried to play with who initiated or how, and whether or not someone could report bad behavior after the fact, nothing could be done about the raw material.
The same guys using the dating apps are the same guys who’ve been brainwashed by 4+ years of the same whining that got Trump elected. The ones who weren’t that political type didn’t need the apps because they were surrounded by women. They may have been picked on for being in most of those women’s friendzone, but hey, a guy only has one penis usually.
Even in Israel, the only unmarried truly non right wing guys I saw on Tinder were the ones who worked insane shifts like EMT’s, doctors, and bus drivers. If they weren’t in those professions, they were nurturing some crucial streak of xenophobia or the weird middle eastern version of “white” supremacy that’s basically self hatred, eurocentrism, colorism, and anti Blackness.
Dating apps were somewhat useful to Gay men for awhile, but then they started getting assaulted and killed too often as well.
What can I say? Murder tends to take the fun out of things. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to give killers a way to lure their preferred targets by location was not thinking.
Most of those who tried the apps didn’t get killed, but almost every woman and definitely every trans woman I know who did got some emotional abuse or other pain out of it. A good proportion of it was just guys being extremely rude and entitled. Women on these apps are treated like they owe men sex, and saying no means saying no to someone who may be within a mile of you and knows what you look like.
So anyway, that experiment in the trustworthiness and goodness of men in the current sexual market was a bust. Now folks have rolled back to an almost pre internet networking through friends. I think this is a good development. People need their friends and family to help them to vet potential partners and to hold them accountable.
People need their loved ones to help set and keep standards regardless of their gender. Since there are no social contracts with strangers, and the behavioral bar has made some idiots think it’s okay for them to harm marginalized people at will with few or no consequences, bad things were bound to happen.
So may the dating apps rest in peace, but those who made them wallow in torment for the lives they cost.