About G4G

G4GGame for Girls (G4G) began on Dec 18, 2008 at 04:12 as a social awareness project aimed at helping good women navigate and succeed in the current dating scene.  Actually, it’s an attempt to work around and rise above it, rather than falling into its traps or remaining subject to its currently chaotic “rules”.

This is an attempt to enhance women’s game basically by not playing a game in which one is a loser by default.

So first off, let’s begin with the female version of Tyler Durden’s identity speech…

You’re not your partner or your kids. You’re not how many guys want to fuck you. You’re not the clothes you wear. You’re not the color of your credit card. You’re not your fucking dress size. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Another way of saying this is the old African proverb, “Birds of all sorts land.

If you prefer, there is the mantra associated with the Heart Sutra, “Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha.

The sooner you get real with yourself and your place in this big Universe, the sooner you’ll be on your way to finding someone to stand with you in it, and if you don’t, then you’ll come to the point when you truly are happy and whole standing alone. All you have is not what gives your life meaning. Other people’s standards of wealth, beauty, or value are not what gives your life meaning. All of these objects around you are temporary. Everyone you know and value will die at some point. You make you. Everyone does in fact, but not everybody embraces that. If you do, then your reality will be stronger than anyone’s who tries to break or exploit you because they have a need and anti reality interest that you don’t.

We are maternalists, meaning we believe in having and raising children, being good wives or committed partners, and if not, still being good people who help build better societies instead of just consuming.  We support our fathers, brothers, sons, and men and manhood in general, because we understand that we need them, and they need us.  They need us intelligent, healthy, aware, and on their team.

Personally, we are at various levels of submission or dominance.  We are at various levels of beauty and ugliness.  Some of us are even technically male by genitals, but are women or non binary leaning feminine by identity.  We are not into dictating morality, simply accepting reality.

In the modern age, when masculinity is under attack, so is femininity.  The balance is at risk.  Invested men afford women the luxury of femininity in a society, so if we want to keep things together, we need to support men against the systems that seek to emasculate them and leave us vulnerable to exploitation.

For us, the mainstream western feminism is not the answer.  As a species, we can’t afford “independence”.  In fact, it simply doesn’t exist.  We are interdependent, and on this site, we express how happy we are to be so, and offer advice on how to make that work despite the current trends.

We are the backlash.

More importantly, we are the effective, nurtring, supportive, protective, and therefore fertile backlash that is actually producing future generations of balanced humans. We are the ones making children and not abusing them. We are the ones taking in abandoned children and healing them and traumatized adults. We are the ones loving people and not preoccupied with irrelevant b.s. like what consenting adults like to do with one another. We also embrace our role as the gatekeepers of our species and regardless of our sadness and sense of loss, fight against efforts to legally force women to breed against their will.

So, we’ve got beef on both sides of the false dichotomy. The mindless do not and will not like this site…and that’s okay. As long as we can stay afloat, we’re not worried about winning the popularity contest. Our readers are among the people who believe in creating generational wealth balanced with generational strength.

About the Webmatron

Zen GardenI’m Nicole Lasher, also known as IronWynch or Sheloya. This is a photo of me without makeup.  I’ve been a spiritual counselor for over 20 years, and yes I am a practitioner of a diaspora flavor of Vodun.  So, needless to say, I’ve seen some of the best and worst of human relationships because my style doesn’t allow for many illusions on the topic.  I was very good at helping others, yet, when it came to my own relationships, I was struggling.  I was technically doing things right, and not being cruel, but was still having problems.

About 10 years ago, getting tired of all the unhelpful “you go grrl” I was getting elsewhere, I wandered into the blog Roissy in DC before it became the circle jerk of crybaby wannabe “white” nationalists known as the Chateau Heartiste (click here and here to find out why it was inevitable, considering the raw material), and got some truth from some of the commenters who weren’t insane and didn’t coddle my female feelz.  I came to realize that I was quite spoiled, and just unaware of the darkness of the world in which I had been born and was trying to have a life.

Eventually, that took me to the Spearhead, and A Voice for Men (not linked for Mueller report reasons), where I was all gung ho to be a men’s rights activist…but then Paul Elam made an excellent point about what happens when outsiders take on a cause.  I checked myself, and understood that it’s not my job to be a public face of men’s rights.  That is for men to do.  If they suck at it, then that’s for them to suck. If they get hijacked or paid off by Russian or corporate agents to be tools for a certain political campaign and fail to produce alternative voices to this self pity party, then that is for them to fix.

Mamasan With MakeupIt’s not my job to save the men. It’s men’s job to save themselves. It’s my job to be a force for human rights, and by extension women’s rights and responsibilities.  Each group, men, women, Africans, Europeans, the disabled…everybody’s job is to defend their corners and interests, while at the same time, maintaining ethical hygiene in their ranks.

I know, many people out there don’t like Paul Elam, and I don’t either.  In some ways, he is a horrible person, but well then so were most of the leaders of second wave feminism.  I don’t know if one can be a good person and a good leader of any mass social movement.  One has to have that semi sociopathic herd shepherd thing going on inside that doesn’t mind manipulating the sheeple.  However, since his shepherding skills are on point, this was advice that I thought it a good idea to take.  Since my hat is not in the ring to be any kind of leader of a mass movement, it’s better for me to stick to what I know best, and that is helping people be better people…specifically women to be better women, using the inside knowledge I have of how people really roll in reality.

Thus, this site.  It doesn’t fit in the usual boxes.  That is a good thing.  I’m neither a typical feminist nor an MRA, even though some of the interests may overlap.  I’m a maternalist africana womanist, and I own my bias, but I respect others’.  I hope that those who read it, learn from it, and weigh in with their opinions.

If you’d like to contribute an article, let me know.


#WomenOfZion is the hashtag that I’ve decided to use for those of us who are modern maternalists.  There’s going to be a mix of posts, tweets, and retweets from people who are on the side of social and gender realism but realistically of varying perspectives.  I felt safe to use this because not only does it follow Matrix terminology like “red pill”, but anyone else who would use it is probably Christian, Jewish, or otherwise tradition-friendly.  Even some diaspora Vodun, garveyists, and Rastafarians use it from time to time.  So we’re all sisters under this hashtag one way or another. The thing is red or blue, a pill is still a pill. It’s nice if someone can just make a choice and be provided with all they need, but that’s not how life works.

Despite _Matrix_ being a fun fairytale, there is no “white” savior coming. The future is in raising strong, capable survivors. For this, we need women doing what we need to do regardless of what men are doing. We set the standards. If they can keep up, great. If not, then the old obsolete generation dies while we make due. It’s what we’ve always done.


  1. great site. I’m a guy andd I value the opinions on this website. I agree with pretty much everything written and believe you really do understand the topics ritten about. Plus there’s no bullshit and lies. It really is hard to find women who don’t bullshit and lie. Like I an tired of it, but this website gave me hope to keep looking and not give up that someday I will meet a diserable girl who is not just attractive, but honest and not a slut. lol I think those girls are probablly all in relationships already, and why wouldn’t they be… I’m 23 and probablly missed out on the best period of my life to attract 12-16 year old girls, now it’s going to be very hard because most girls don’t wait until 19 or older.

  2. I love the blog and have linked to it. The only thing I disagree with is your assesment of yourself as ugly. In fact you have a pleasingly inteligent face with charicter. Your problem may be that men find you too inteligent and become more interested in your conversation than in seducing you. Do you find hot guys want to be friends?

    Your lips are very sensual and may get them back on track.

  3. I agree. You’re beautiful.

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